Caught up in Myself!

October 12th, 2012

God's refining fire often gently prods me along to the realization that there is some way in me, or a trait in my life that pulls me away from Him. 
I have met people over my many years that I would consider to be filled with pride, and some even with arrogance.  When I walk alongside them I realize that this is a very unattractive trait and one I feel very uncomfortable being around. 
Pride very seldom causes people to be kind, loving or encouraging.  It is self-seeking, and often "wins" at the expense of others.
Pride as it manifests in some people, can be glaringly obvious.  As it manifests itself in me, is not as obvious.  At least not to me.  Others who know and love me may see it, may accept it, and at times even ignore it, but because they love me, they feel it best to stay quiet about my offensive ways.  Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.
To those that I love dearly, I am sorry to boorishly put myself before you and pridefully put my own interests above your own.
To my Lord and Saviour, I am sorry to have missed out on the very best you have for me because of my selfish and prideful ways.
Within the last several years, I have found a recurring theme that haunts me.  It is one that creeps up on me when I least expect it, makes others uneasy, and inflates my chest in a most unnatural way.  It is pride.
I am so very grateful that the Holy Spirit shows me whenever I am becoming prideful.  I usually become uneasy and very uncomfortable about a situation, or something I may have said or done.  Whenever I have this feeling, I search deep within because I know something is amiss.  It almost always points back to PRIDE.
When the Son of God came to this earth, He didn't come with trumpets blaring, as a King who should be loved and received by his people.  There was no boasting.  There was no fanfare.  There was no huge celebration that would signal that the Grace of God was about to be poured out on mankind so we would once and for all be reconciled to Him.
He didn't need to hit us over the head with it!
It had been prophesied about for centuries.
Isaiah 7:14: “Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel.”
Isaiah 9:6: “For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.”
Micah 5:2: “But you, Bethlehem Ephrathah, though you are small among the clans of Judah, out of you will come for me one who will be ruler over Israel, whose origins are from of old, from ancient times.”
Zechariah 9:9: “Rejoice greatly, O Daughter of Zion! Shout, Daughter of Jerusalem! See, your king comes to you, righteous and having salvation, gentle and riding on a donkey, on a colt, the foal of a donkey.”
Psalm 22:16-18: “Dogs have surrounded me; a band of evil men has encircled me, they have pierced my hands and my feet. I can count all my bones; people stare and gloat over me. They divide my garments among them and cast lots for my clothing.”
 Isaiah 53:3-7 “He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed. We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all. He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth.”

When it was all said and done, there was no gloating.  There wasn't an "I told you so!"  No smirk of satisfaction that we would all get what was coming to us.  No sense of vengeance.  Just love poured out in abundance.  Open hands beckoning us to "Come Unto Him"!

The World sees this type of love and meekness as weakness.  Anyone who has ever "turned the other cheek", or kept quiet while being berated by someone else, or gave up their place at the table for another, knows that this is NOT the easy path.  It is not one we are inclined to follow on our own.
I can become angry when a driver runs up to the end of a merge lane to beat everyone else out.  All those that dutifully wait in the left lane to enter the highway.  How dare they!  I have places to go too!  I'm a busy person!  This is PRIDE!
My "nose is out of joint" when I am spoken to by a superior in a disrespectful way.  When they yell at me, or take out their temper on me because of a situation that they are unhappy about.  Unmerited disrespect = PRIDE.
Times when I persist in finding the answer, or fixing the problem, only to finally "get it" and then pat myself on the back for being so clever and persistent.  PRIDE!
The secret moments when I take the bigger piece of meat, or hold back my offering for something I would like.  PRIDE!

There is nothing that happens in this world that goes unnoticed by Him.  He controls all things.  He fills me with patience and kindness.  He formed my brain and allows it to work in a way that is able to occasionally figure difficult things out. He gave me legs that walk, a bed to sleep in, clothes on my back and food in my stomach. 
His salvation is free....lest no man should boast. 
Satan's fall was from PRIDE!  He knows that with all things good, man wants to take the credit.  He made certain we could NOT take the credit for his plan of salvation through His son Jesus Christ.  We can't earn it.  We will never be good enough, kind enough, loving enough, thoughtful enough, holy enough to earn it.  We can't buy it, wish it, sell it, or cover it up. 
The King of Kings, Lord of Lords took the form of a lowly man, left His Father's side to walk amongst us, be scorned, beaten, ridiculed and mocked.  This is the picture of humility and meekness.  Quite the opposite of pride.
I want to be rid of all things that come between me and the Lord so that He is able to use me to fulfill His purpose in me.  The works that He prepared for me even before I was born.  The things He has put in my path to teach me His ways.
Until I am willing to see myself through His eyes, surrender all that I am to Him, and follow Him completely, I am missing the boat!
If the Son of God can humble himself, and take my place for my sins, then I need to look deep within myself and ask God to reveal all the things He finds offensive in me, ask His forgiveness, and trust that He will lead me on His path of righteousness, for His names sake.

Will I ever be rid completely of PRIDE.  Not while I'm here.
Will I ever be completely meek and humble.  No!

But I pray that when things are hard, difficult, frightening or painful, that I will have left all of that behind, and all that others see in me is HIM!  That is when I am in His will!  Doing what I was created to do.  Be a receptacle and vessel of His grace.  Not my own foolish PRIDE!