Day Two

The first night was difficult.  They never quite got my pain under control, but it was still better than when I first came out of surgery.  The night nurse came in to see me around 9:00 p.m. and I was in tears with the pain.  J. was the type of nurse who took charge quickly.  She didn't waste any time trying this or that.  From my bed, I could hear her on the phone advocating for me.  Insisting that I needed something by IV immediately.  I relaxed because I knew I had the best interceding for me.  Your prayers put the right nurses on shift each time, and J. was no exception. 
So I closed my eyes and waited.  She was so sympathetic and wonderful that she would keep coming in and aprising me of what was happening.  She was waiting for the doctor to call the order in and then we would be good to go.
She came in quickly and placed a small bag filled with pain medication onto my existing line and said I would be feeling better shortly.  So I closed my eyes and waited.  I looked at the clock, and only a few minutes had gone by, so I waited patiently to feel the relief I so desperately sought.  Still nothing.  I looked at the bag to see if I could tell what she had given me and noticed it wasn't running.  Being as efficient as J was, I knew she would be back in shortly and notice the medication had not been started, so I waited.  She came in and asked me how I was doing and I told her about the same.  She immediately noticed the meds were not running and remedied the situation immediately.
My biggest worry through this whole process was how I would react to everyone trying to help me, while I was in dire pain.  I was so grateful that the love Jesus had instilled in me for others was still there, no matter how great the pain.  My prayer was to represent Him well, in all circumstances.  He gave the strength to do this.
So with the bag empty and my pain not subsiding, I realized my only option at this point was to try and close my eyes and hopefully drift off to sleep.  I had the same semi-conscious rest, never quite falling asleep.
My faithful and kind nurse J.  came in to check on me.  I truly felt like I had my own private nursing staff.  I have always been blessed with wonderful nurses, but this group of nurses were the most attentive I have ever known.  I had to tell J. that the pain was not subsiding.  My advocate (voice) got back on the phone and started the process again.  She got a doctor to call back at 4 in the morning, and this time they ordered Dilaudid.  I waited in eager anticipation once again for this to start working, and this time I got the relief I so desired.
Nurse J. came in several times to check on me, and during her final check she asked me how my pain was.  I told her it was starting to creep back up, but that I felt an oral pain medication (something not quite as strong) might be a good choice since I had been given so many strong medications during the night.  It was then that she mentioned the first IV med I was ordered was morphine.
Ah ha!  That is why I felt no relief.  Morphine has never given me any type of pain relief in the past, and I had told everyone who would listen that this was not a medication that would alleviate my pain.  My biggest fear was being unable to speak and suffering with Morphine as my pain medication. 
But I saw how hard and relentlessly she fought to get what I needed. And even though I was still in pain, I recognized her efforts and could find no fault in all that she had done for me.  I was so grateful for her unwavering determination in bringing me the relief I sought.  I drew comfort from knowing I was well taken care of, and even though the pain medication did not work, there was peace in knowing that she was at the helm and that everything would be all right.
I realized that this is similar to our relationship with Christ.  He goes before us.  He advocates on our behalf, even when we don't have the words to say.  He sits at the right hand side of God and brings our prayers and concerns before God, for each of us.  Does this mean our life will be painless.....No!  But it becomes more bearable because of Who is advocating on our behalf. 
I am so grateful for my nurse J.  But even more grateful that I have a Saviour that goes before me and takes all my requests directly to the Father, on my behalf. 
This is what brings me comfort in my darkest hours, and this is what gives me hope to press on towards the goal.

 

Romans 8:34   Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died —more than that, who was raised to life —is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us.