Solid Food

I am repeatedly amazed how God continues to work in my life.  Even when my life seems to be falling apart.  I see God as a father who is raising a child to become an adult.
In the beginning, when I first came to realize who Christ was, and who I was, and what He had done for me, I was at the stage of just existing.
God took this time to grow me internally.  I was fed milk, and my mind started to develop slowly, and as it did, I became more and more aware of my surroundings.  I started to get clear vision, and then bonds were formed, and then I communicated with those around me. 
Somewhat like my early days as a new believer.  I was born again, and God started the process of "growing me up".  As my eyes opened to the truth, the Holy Spirit helped to grow my mind to understand and contain the scriptures and the truths laid out before me.  I started to communicate with God through prayer.  All was very simple in the beginning.  But this was the musings of an infant.
I started to eat watered down versions of adult food.  I crawled, smiled, and babbled with some familiarity to it.  Just as I developed in my walk with Christ, I started to gain more knowledge through the Word, and moved forward in my faith as I recalled scriptures that were also becoming familiar to me.  They would be the backbone of the promises God has made.
I then started to walk, eat more solid food.  Each new food being introduced one at a time.  Careful not to provide ones that were too complicated and might cause a reaction.  This was similar to my using my "sea legs" in my walk with God.  Getting out and talking to others.  I had a simple, eager faith.  I knew the truth and wanted others to know it as well.  I was being taught lessons.  Sometimes I would complete the journey for that lesson, and other times I would have to wander the same path over and over again.  God was always there to pick me up when I fell, brush me off, and patiently wait for me to try again and carry on.  He gave me the basics of His truth.  This would be my foundation for the more mature things He would introduce later.
I then went to school.  Interacting with others that were at the same stage of development.  Learning about the world, and learning the things I would need as an adult. 
I had my teenage years of rebellion.  God once again graciously sat back, and let me fall, again, and again, as I was working out my controlling nature, my pride, my unreliable relationship I had created with Him.  Yet somehow He always knew I would come running back home.  I am so grateful the door was open. 
Now, in the autumn of my life, the body is starting to slowing age and the ability to "do it all" and "go where I want" is becoming hindered by my limitations.  Not in a profound way, but things don't seem to "bounce back" the way they used to.  But this slowing down, has given me a time to "Be still and know that He is God."
He has done the "prep" work.  This season of my life is not about trials, strength, courage, or works.  It is about fully digesting the truth of my purpose here.
I am not saved because I repented of my sins, or said a special prayer, or read the Bible, or helped others.  I am simply saved because of what Jesus did on the cross for me.  He did not do this because He felt sorry for me.  He did this because He was being obedient to God. 
If I am to let Christ live through me, and my purpose, and only purpose is to glorify God, then my life is not about the trials.  It is about obedience to God. 
Dying to self is an ongoing process.  To put God first in all things does not always come easy to me, but the best example of doing this was Christ.  He laid down His life because it was decided by God that this would be the way, the only way, to Him. 
So in the beginning, my view of what my life as a Christian would be like, was vastly different from what it is now.  I thought it was about reading the Word, and praying at the appropriate times, going to church, helping others, etc.  In this season of my life, I have come to understand that this was the "baby steps" portion of my life.  I may have thought I was effective, but I truly wasn't.  Until I give myself completely to Christ, and allow HIM to live in me so that HE can do the work He has prepared for me from before I was born, I am just "spinning my wheels".  I labour in vain.  I am virtually ineffective and it is all about me. 
How can I hear Christ's voice calling to me, if I am yelling so loudly that I can't hear it.  I am down to whispering, but my journey is not complete until I am back to my infant stage of being still.  Being still, but with the mature mind that God has tenderly grown in me all these years.
Be still and know that I am God (Psalm 46:10).