May 29th, 2012
I was recently loaned a book called "A Miracle for Jen" by a dear friend. This book was also purchased for me by Ms. P., so I knew I was meant to read it!
What I have often felt in my own life is that God teaches us through our experiences, and those of others. When I hear of what others have faced, I am left speechless, and even more grateful for what I have been given.
While listening to the news this morning, I heard that Paul Henderson (scored the winning goal against Russia in that infamous hockey match almost 40 years ago) has cancer, and that it is quite invasive and spread throughout his body. He is 69 years old, and the commentator remarked how he may not be here to celebrate the 40th anniversary of that infamous goal.
What the commentator also mentioned was that Paul was a Christian. In Paul's own voice he said "thank you God for giving me cancer. I now have the type of relationship with you that I have always wanted."
To most, this might seem like folly, but I completely understood what he meant. I know that Jen Barrick and her family understand what Paul meant.
Jen was a 15 year old girl whose life drastically changed several years ago one night after a high school concert. She sang with all her heart to her God - Lord, You're Holy. There was no doubt that Jen loved the Lord.
She kept meticulous diary entries that journalled her walk with the Lord. She asked God to make her bold so that she could proclaim His love to others and fully gave her life to Him, to be used by Him.
After a tragic accident she was taken to hospital where she remained in a coma for 5 weeks. She had multiple skull fractures and a very severe brain injury.
Her mother narrates the story, so you are able to understand Jen's perspective and her mother's perspective. Both are very compelling and very real.
Having lost a sister to a brain injury in a car accident, I was intrigued by this story.
Doctor's and nurses prepared her family for the worst. They did not expect her to live. Even if she did, she could end up in a vegetative state. We were told the same thing about my sister. Doctor's and nurses see these types of tragedies regularly, so they are speaking from experience. What they did not realize, was that this young lady had prayed to her Lord to be used mightily, and He has been faithful to do that and was about to show her and others how powerful He can be in the face of adversity.
I am providing a brief overview of this story, but it is worth reading.
What I found remarkable, was not only the way that God answered prayer, but that when Jen slowly awoke from her coma she was unable to communicate with people in the room. The process required to hear, think, and respond, was not working properly. That would have to be learned again. But what was miraculous, was that Jen spent long periods of time in prayer and singing praises to God. It was clear and understandable. She quoted scripture that had obviously been read in her youth, but now poured out of her mouth as though she were reading it from the Bible. Unexplicable, but possible with God.
This is a story of a young lady that God has used mightily. Her life is not pain free. It is far from that. But whenever she speaks about her Lord, she speaks with clarity and conciseness that could only come from God. This young lady who was not expected to live, and defied the odds, is being used mightily by God.
2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
I cannot think of anyone that personifies this more than Jen. Her willingness to be used by God, to be shattered and weak, to give her all to Him so that others might know of Him, is inspiring.
She saw Him standing beside her even though her vision was so badly impaired she could barely see. She died to self, and because of that He was able to use her mightily.
So when Paul Henderson thanks God for his affliction, and when Jen Barrick thanks God for her circumstances that brought her a boldness she did not possess, and a testimony that makes others sit up and listen, I see His purpose in my life in a new way.
Jen's and Paul's story remind me once again that God matures us through the difficult moments. When things are going well, it is easy to slip back into superficiality. Angry when someone cuts you off, or treats you poorly. This is our immediate reaction. But when I am struggling with a health issue, or emotional or mental pain, I hear His voice calling me to rest. The unimportant things become so much smaller, as He becomes larger.
Jesus reaches the world through His believers. We must become smaller so that Christ can become bigger.
John 3:30 He must increase, but I must decrease.
Our purpose and God's will for our lives is for us to glorify Him.
1 Peter 4:13 But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.
When a kindness is done, I want others to see God and His love for them. When a hug is given, or food is shared, I want others to know the one who sent me. I am painfully aware of who I am without God. Any goodness or compassion you see comes from Him.\
2 Corinthians 4:16-18 says
16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
Romans 8:18 I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.So for Jen Barrick and Paul Henderson, they understand the renewal day by day. I am learning to live it to. I am so grateful that He does not leave me where I am, but continues to teach me more and more about Him, daily. A walk with Christ is not a stagnant, one time committment. It should be filled with the fruit of the spirit and growth that pushes on to the finish line.
May God be glorified through Jen and Paul so that others might see Him, the Creator all things, The Father, our God.
.
Tuesday, 29 May 2012
Monday, 28 May 2012
Hard Times
May 28th, 2012
Over the course of the last 7 days, I have had increasingly difficult days that have left me weepy and frustrated.
When I first became a Christian, I thought that being in a right relationship with God was all about "feelings". When I felt joy, then I felt He was closest, and when I felt pain, anger, frustration or depression, He seemed miles away. I allowed feelings to guide my relationship with God. When I felt good, I felt close, and vice versa.
So, as I struggled through each day and night, I went back to all the times God has been there for me. All that He has brought me through. All the times He has shown me that He was there all along.
He has told me and shown me that He will never leave me nor forsake me. He has always been faithful and true. So I have been clinging to His promises and His "track record" with my life.
I knew that this too shall pass, but I also know that sometimes these difficult moments can last a fairly long time.
So I waited in anticipation of this veil lifting, but not certain of when or how God would answer my prayer.
I waited all week to receive an answer, and things seemed to be getting harder and harder. I finally broke my silence and contacted the one person who knows me quite well, my Mom.
I started off with the usual,
" I am upset at this.....and I'm frustrated with that......and I don't think I can take anymore of......."
It became apparent that I was starting to put my Mom in the same frame of mind as myself, which made me feel even worse.
At the end she reminded me of how many people, everywhere, were praying for me.
She said that our dear friend Ms. P. has been praying all week long and at times began to weep while she was praying for our family.
It was at that precise moment that I realized that Ms. P., a faithful servant and dear friend, had been obediently praying on my behalf. The odd thing is that she wasn't aware of what type of struggles I was encountering. I usually keep very much to myself during these times hoping that it will pass, and no one else will be the wiser.
Ms. P. had been prompted by the Holy Spirit to pray for me. She didn't know why, or what the issue was, she just knew that I was being put on her heart, and she was overwhelmed with emotion while praying.
Romans 8:26
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.
It was at that precise moment I once again realized how much My Lord loved me. He does promise to never leave me nor forsake me, so I often visualize Him standing nearby. When I didn't gain the comfort I had hoped to experience with this vision, I sat in wait for an answer. The moment I heard about Ms. P., it was as though a light had gone on inside my head and my heart.
I realized that God loves me so much, that He prompted a dear friend to pray for me. The fact that she had no earthly idea what was happening with me, showed me beyond a shadow of a doubt, that this gift of intercessory prayer came directly from Him. I was awestruck at how much He loves me. What lengths He will go to to show me His love. It is never the way I anticipate it. It is always on His terms and in His way. In that, I know it is His doing, and not my own, or anyone elses.
To me, this is another huge revelation because I, personally can add nothing to God's existence or His person hood. He does not need me to exist. I can't make anything greater for Him. I don't add to His being one iota. He could wander through eternity and never be the lesser for not knowing me. In spite of all of this, this Holy God, creator or all things, chose once again to come down and touch my heart with the heartfelt prayers of a dear friend. He put the proof right in front of me to see. It was undeniable and over whelming.
Throughout different stages of my life, I have been blessed with wonderful intercessors like Ms P., my mother, my husband and our small group, her small group, family, and other dear friends at church and beyond. My mother sent me a verse today that, for me, sums up all that God is doing in and through me.
Isaiah 41: 9 - 13
I have chosen you and have not rejected you. 10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Over the course of the last 7 days, I have had increasingly difficult days that have left me weepy and frustrated.
When I first became a Christian, I thought that being in a right relationship with God was all about "feelings". When I felt joy, then I felt He was closest, and when I felt pain, anger, frustration or depression, He seemed miles away. I allowed feelings to guide my relationship with God. When I felt good, I felt close, and vice versa.
So, as I struggled through each day and night, I went back to all the times God has been there for me. All that He has brought me through. All the times He has shown me that He was there all along.
He has told me and shown me that He will never leave me nor forsake me. He has always been faithful and true. So I have been clinging to His promises and His "track record" with my life.
I knew that this too shall pass, but I also know that sometimes these difficult moments can last a fairly long time.
So I waited in anticipation of this veil lifting, but not certain of when or how God would answer my prayer.
I waited all week to receive an answer, and things seemed to be getting harder and harder. I finally broke my silence and contacted the one person who knows me quite well, my Mom.
I started off with the usual,
" I am upset at this.....and I'm frustrated with that......and I don't think I can take anymore of......."
It became apparent that I was starting to put my Mom in the same frame of mind as myself, which made me feel even worse.
At the end she reminded me of how many people, everywhere, were praying for me.
She said that our dear friend Ms. P. has been praying all week long and at times began to weep while she was praying for our family.
It was at that precise moment that I realized that Ms. P., a faithful servant and dear friend, had been obediently praying on my behalf. The odd thing is that she wasn't aware of what type of struggles I was encountering. I usually keep very much to myself during these times hoping that it will pass, and no one else will be the wiser.
Ms. P. had been prompted by the Holy Spirit to pray for me. She didn't know why, or what the issue was, she just knew that I was being put on her heart, and she was overwhelmed with emotion while praying.
Romans 8:26
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.
It was at that precise moment I once again realized how much My Lord loved me. He does promise to never leave me nor forsake me, so I often visualize Him standing nearby. When I didn't gain the comfort I had hoped to experience with this vision, I sat in wait for an answer. The moment I heard about Ms. P., it was as though a light had gone on inside my head and my heart.
I realized that God loves me so much, that He prompted a dear friend to pray for me. The fact that she had no earthly idea what was happening with me, showed me beyond a shadow of a doubt, that this gift of intercessory prayer came directly from Him. I was awestruck at how much He loves me. What lengths He will go to to show me His love. It is never the way I anticipate it. It is always on His terms and in His way. In that, I know it is His doing, and not my own, or anyone elses.
To me, this is another huge revelation because I, personally can add nothing to God's existence or His person hood. He does not need me to exist. I can't make anything greater for Him. I don't add to His being one iota. He could wander through eternity and never be the lesser for not knowing me. In spite of all of this, this Holy God, creator or all things, chose once again to come down and touch my heart with the heartfelt prayers of a dear friend. He put the proof right in front of me to see. It was undeniable and over whelming.
Throughout different stages of my life, I have been blessed with wonderful intercessors like Ms P., my mother, my husband and our small group, her small group, family, and other dear friends at church and beyond. My mother sent me a verse today that, for me, sums up all that God is doing in and through me.
Isaiah 41: 9 - 13
I have chosen you and have not rejected you. 10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
11 “All who rage against you will surely be ashamed and disgraced; those who oppose you will be as nothing and perish.
12 Though you search for your enemies, you will not find them. Those who wage war against you will be as nothing at all.
13 For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.
12 Though you search for your enemies, you will not find them. Those who wage war against you will be as nothing at all.
13 For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.
Those who know me well understand the personal battles I face in different areas of my life each day. But I know that where I am right now has been chosen by God, and because of this, He will sustain me through all hardships.
He promises that “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. ”
2 Corinthians 12:9
2 Corinthians 12:9
Wednesday, 23 May 2012
God versus Us
May 26th, 2012
In my 35 years of walking, running, falling and hiding from God, He has taught me a lot about who He is. He is the same today, yesterday, and forever. He doesn’t “change with the times”, or change His views in order to pacify the masses.
In my 35 years of walking, running, falling and hiding from God, He has taught me a lot about who He is. He is the same today, yesterday, and forever. He doesn’t “change with the times”, or change His views in order to pacify the masses.
He is true to who He is, who He says He is in His Word, and who He has shown himself to be in my life. He hasn’t changed one thing about His truth in order to hold my interest, or to make it easier for me. Putting human characteristics on a Holy, omniscient, omnipotent God brings Him down to our level.
Difference between us, and God:
God Sent His only Son to die on the cross for our sins.
Us We committed the sins He died for.
God Creator of the world and all that is in it.
Us Live in the world He created & get full use & enjoyment of all that was put here.
God Commands legions of angels
Us Control only our thoughts and those that we take care of.
God Wrote the greatest book and best seller of all time.
Us 100 years from now, no one will remember our accomplishments, or even our names.
God We cannot look upon Him and live.
Us He looks upon us and as sinful as we are, He choses to still love us.
God Is the Alpha & the Omega. He was here before time began. He created time so our lives have a beginning & an end.
Us We begat. He knows our coming in and our going out. All within the framework of time.
God He loves us in spite of who we are & the sins we have committed.
Us We judge others & spend years reading self-help books & talking to others in a vain attempt to improve ourselves so that we might be more lovable and more widely accepted.
God He is omniscient.
Us We think we are wise and well-educated and yet fail miserably at being humble, meek and loving.
God You shall have no other gods before Me (Exodus 20:3)
Us My god is....money....power....good works....possessions.....food.....entertainment.....etc.
If you would like to contribute more "Differences", please send your "God vs Us" in comments and I would be glad to post them and create a greater list.
Difference between us, and God:
God Sent His only Son to die on the cross for our sins.
Us We committed the sins He died for.
God Creator of the world and all that is in it.
Us Live in the world He created & get full use & enjoyment of all that was put here.
God Commands legions of angels
Us Control only our thoughts and those that we take care of.
God Wrote the greatest book and best seller of all time.
Us 100 years from now, no one will remember our accomplishments, or even our names.
God We cannot look upon Him and live.
Us He looks upon us and as sinful as we are, He choses to still love us.
God Is the Alpha & the Omega. He was here before time began. He created time so our lives have a beginning & an end.
Us We begat. He knows our coming in and our going out. All within the framework of time.
God He loves us in spite of who we are & the sins we have committed.
Us We judge others & spend years reading self-help books & talking to others in a vain attempt to improve ourselves so that we might be more lovable and more widely accepted.
God He is omniscient.
Us We think we are wise and well-educated and yet fail miserably at being humble, meek and loving.
God You shall have no other gods before Me (Exodus 20:3)
Us My god is....money....power....good works....possessions.....food.....entertainment.....etc.
If you would like to contribute more "Differences", please send your "God vs Us" in comments and I would be glad to post them and create a greater list.
Thursday, 17 May 2012
A Father's Gift
May 17th, 2012
For many years I spent time "drifting" through life. My purposes all seemed tied to raising my family, pursuing a career, and all the things that can encompass a busy life.
One sunny Saturday afternoon, my father and mother had come to visit us and sat and chatted for several hours. My father told the story of his famous spaghetti sauce recipe that came through my aunt T. He would give us the recipe, and yet none of us ever seemed to get it just right. He would tell us that some of the secrets to success with "the sauce" was to "wind" it and not stir it. I still think the secret to his success with our favourite meal was the patience it took to create such gastronomic perfection.
Patience is a virtue that I do not always possess, but thankfully, one my heavenly Father does.
My father passed away two weeks after this visit. It was not something any of us foresaw. The morning of his passing, my mother shared that he came down the stairs at the cottage, and with a beauty, peace and glow said to her "can you imagine what it will be like to see Jesus, face-to-face?" He was excited.
What we didn't know was that hours later, that is what he would be doing. Jesus, through my father, left us these words of comfort that have never left myself or my mother since his passing. This is an example of God's grace.
Before my father's passing, he left a video tape for me to watch. It was a sermon by Dr. Charles Stanley on grace. I took the video and buried it on my book shelf for many years. My father was insistent that I view it. I had tried many times to sit down and watch it, but always became distracted.
Several years later, I unearthed the video again and decided to sit down and watch the it. I was awe struck. For many years and through many people, there had been encouragement to read and understand exactly what God's grace is. For me, it is the essence of who God is. It is a truth so powerful, it needed to be the cornerstone of my life. Grace is amazing, unjustified, unearned, unwarranted, freely given to an undeserving soul. It is always greater than any number and type of sins we commit. For the first time in my life, I now understood the gift I had been given by my heavenly Father and the blessing God had given me in an earthly father.
Grace tells me I don't have to "work" at forgiveness anymore. I don't have to be perfect. I don't have to be nice, good, joyful, holy, pleasant, charitable and more to gain God's favour. I had it the day I accepted His gift of His son Jesus Christ.
God is all knowing. He is the Alpha and the Omega. He knows the beginning, and he knows the end. He knows what we will choose, even before we do. He knows our coming in (birth) and the moment of going out (death). And with this unparallelled knowledge of all events, He still chose to send His son to die on a cross for all of us. Knowing that this sacrifice, His only Son, would meet with disdain, suffering, hatred, rejection, and separation from Him at the moment He took on our sins.
If God was "fair" then He would not have sent His Son, and we would be punished for our sins. God is not fair, but He is just.
It can be hard to fathom the type of love that requires no gift, no monetary offering, no sacrifice, no adoration, perfection, power, beauty, or even familial ties. For most of us, we cannot love this way. It is only through Christ living in me, that I can begin firstly, to understand the magnitude of this type of love, and secondly, to share it with others. To see others through His eyes, with the love that He has for all of us.
The gift of salvation through grace is free.
Ephesians 2:9
not of works, lest anyone should boast.
We cannot earn it. If we could, it would no longer be a gift, but rather something we had achieved at a price we paid. We did not pay the price for this gift. Jesus did, on the cross. Is it truly a gift if YOU paid for it?
This grace that saved my soul, sustains me throughout my life. It is always there. When I look back on my life, I can see where God has repeatedly showered me with His grace. He has carried me, brought me joy through the pain, given me peace during moments of great anxiousness and concern.
After many years of walking in partial blindness ("I once was blind but now I see"), I truly understand the enormity of the grace that was given to me years ago on a cross on Calvary.
The gift my father left me, led me to the true meaning of The Father's greatest gift, given freely through His grace.
With the passing of my father, the ability to rely on him to "fix the wrongs", be an advocate on my behalf, offer support and love, left with his passing.
What was left in its place was God's grace. It was always there, but my reliance on my father often overshadowed my need to understand it.
I have found that God's grace is truly sufficient. When I thought it was my earthly father carrying me through these times, I soon realized it was my Heavenly Father, with His grace, sustaining me, leading me, walking beside me, carrying me, comforting me, loving me through these moments in life that have brought me great challenge.
And yes, God sustained me through my father's death. I rushed to my mother's side at the cottage to help bring her home, after my father passed that day. I had no doubt that this was my father's time to "go home".
What my mother and I were not prepared for was the way in which God brought us through that first very difficult night. We spent the night praising God. For my father's life and witness. For the peace He was giving us both during these early hours. And for the grace He was showing us in the midst of such grief and pain. We both look back on this as a moment we both received God's grace to sustain us during this loss.
It is one of the moments I often remember when I wonder if "I can endure the next step in my journey".
My answer is a resounding YES! With God, all things are possible. He goes before me. I am in NOT alone.
Matthew 19:26
But Jesus looked at them and said to them, “With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”
Charles Stanley on Grace (there are many more articles that explain this more fully, but I think this explains it well):
http://www.intouch.org/resources/article-archive/content/topic/a_picture_of_grace_article
For many years I spent time "drifting" through life. My purposes all seemed tied to raising my family, pursuing a career, and all the things that can encompass a busy life.
One sunny Saturday afternoon, my father and mother had come to visit us and sat and chatted for several hours. My father told the story of his famous spaghetti sauce recipe that came through my aunt T. He would give us the recipe, and yet none of us ever seemed to get it just right. He would tell us that some of the secrets to success with "the sauce" was to "wind" it and not stir it. I still think the secret to his success with our favourite meal was the patience it took to create such gastronomic perfection.
Patience is a virtue that I do not always possess, but thankfully, one my heavenly Father does.
My father passed away two weeks after this visit. It was not something any of us foresaw. The morning of his passing, my mother shared that he came down the stairs at the cottage, and with a beauty, peace and glow said to her "can you imagine what it will be like to see Jesus, face-to-face?" He was excited.
What we didn't know was that hours later, that is what he would be doing. Jesus, through my father, left us these words of comfort that have never left myself or my mother since his passing. This is an example of God's grace.
Before my father's passing, he left a video tape for me to watch. It was a sermon by Dr. Charles Stanley on grace. I took the video and buried it on my book shelf for many years. My father was insistent that I view it. I had tried many times to sit down and watch it, but always became distracted.
Several years later, I unearthed the video again and decided to sit down and watch the it. I was awe struck. For many years and through many people, there had been encouragement to read and understand exactly what God's grace is. For me, it is the essence of who God is. It is a truth so powerful, it needed to be the cornerstone of my life. Grace is amazing, unjustified, unearned, unwarranted, freely given to an undeserving soul. It is always greater than any number and type of sins we commit. For the first time in my life, I now understood the gift I had been given by my heavenly Father and the blessing God had given me in an earthly father.
Grace tells me I don't have to "work" at forgiveness anymore. I don't have to be perfect. I don't have to be nice, good, joyful, holy, pleasant, charitable and more to gain God's favour. I had it the day I accepted His gift of His son Jesus Christ.
God is all knowing. He is the Alpha and the Omega. He knows the beginning, and he knows the end. He knows what we will choose, even before we do. He knows our coming in (birth) and the moment of going out (death). And with this unparallelled knowledge of all events, He still chose to send His son to die on a cross for all of us. Knowing that this sacrifice, His only Son, would meet with disdain, suffering, hatred, rejection, and separation from Him at the moment He took on our sins.
If God was "fair" then He would not have sent His Son, and we would be punished for our sins. God is not fair, but He is just.
It can be hard to fathom the type of love that requires no gift, no monetary offering, no sacrifice, no adoration, perfection, power, beauty, or even familial ties. For most of us, we cannot love this way. It is only through Christ living in me, that I can begin firstly, to understand the magnitude of this type of love, and secondly, to share it with others. To see others through His eyes, with the love that He has for all of us.
The gift of salvation through grace is free.
Ephesians 2:9
not of works, lest anyone should boast.
We cannot earn it. If we could, it would no longer be a gift, but rather something we had achieved at a price we paid. We did not pay the price for this gift. Jesus did, on the cross. Is it truly a gift if YOU paid for it?
This grace that saved my soul, sustains me throughout my life. It is always there. When I look back on my life, I can see where God has repeatedly showered me with His grace. He has carried me, brought me joy through the pain, given me peace during moments of great anxiousness and concern.
After many years of walking in partial blindness ("I once was blind but now I see"), I truly understand the enormity of the grace that was given to me years ago on a cross on Calvary.
The gift my father left me, led me to the true meaning of The Father's greatest gift, given freely through His grace.
With the passing of my father, the ability to rely on him to "fix the wrongs", be an advocate on my behalf, offer support and love, left with his passing.
What was left in its place was God's grace. It was always there, but my reliance on my father often overshadowed my need to understand it.
I have found that God's grace is truly sufficient. When I thought it was my earthly father carrying me through these times, I soon realized it was my Heavenly Father, with His grace, sustaining me, leading me, walking beside me, carrying me, comforting me, loving me through these moments in life that have brought me great challenge.
And yes, God sustained me through my father's death. I rushed to my mother's side at the cottage to help bring her home, after my father passed that day. I had no doubt that this was my father's time to "go home".
What my mother and I were not prepared for was the way in which God brought us through that first very difficult night. We spent the night praising God. For my father's life and witness. For the peace He was giving us both during these early hours. And for the grace He was showing us in the midst of such grief and pain. We both look back on this as a moment we both received God's grace to sustain us during this loss.
It is one of the moments I often remember when I wonder if "I can endure the next step in my journey".
My answer is a resounding YES! With God, all things are possible. He goes before me. I am in NOT alone.
Matthew 19:26
But Jesus looked at them and said to them, “With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”
Charles Stanley on Grace (there are many more articles that explain this more fully, but I think this explains it well):
http://www.intouch.org/resources/article-archive/content/topic/a_picture_of_grace_article
Tuesday, 15 May 2012
Another Medical Trial
May 15th, 2012
I know it may seem as though my life is riddled with health issues, and that may be true, but with God's grace I have adjusted to each situation as I encounter it.
At the age of 43, I had been suffering with deep depression for over one year, and it was continuing to get worse. I felt unwell at most times, and was convinced there was more to this than a "psychological problem". Medications were not resolving this issue, and I had many additional symptoms as well. Unfortunately, most of them can be associated with depression, so each doctor felt they had properly diagnosed my illness.
Prayer at this point in my life, was sporadically coming from me, but more from my husband, children, mom and Ms. P. I would not describe depression as a sadness. It goes much deeper than that. It is the loss of all hope. When you have lost hope, it is devastating and very difficult to rise above. But I had intercessory prayer and the love of a great and mighty God.
At this point in my life, my father had passed away, so I no longer had the "voice of reason" to spur me on. Mom, being the matriarch became determined to find answers to this debilitating problem.
We had bought books, tried herbal medications, exercising, anything we could to reduce stress, and all to no avail.
At 43, I thought my body was beginning to get older and started to go through the "change of life". In order to confirm that this was the main problem, I would require the expertise of an Endocrinologist. My problem was that the family doctor was hesitant about moving in this direction.
I felt helpless and defeated and once again, ready to give up.
My mother attended the next visit with my doctor, and asked about being referred to a specialist. The doctor said it wasn't necessary. Like a protective mama bear, she mustered up as much anger as she possibly could and demanded that we be referred to an Endo specialist. Now most people who know my mother realize that they may never have seen this side of her (including my doctor). In all the years I have known her, I had rarely seen this type of determination and insistence from her. I think the doctor was aware he was witnessing a rare act, and wasn't prepared to say "no" and find out what the consequences of that would be. Please understand that my mother's idea of anger is to slightly raise your voice and become persistent in your demand. That's it! But coming from someone who is normally very meek and pleasant, you realize you're in the presence of an immovable force.
My advocate had won her demand, and I was referred to an Endo specialist, Dr. M.
I spent a great deal of time trying to persuade her that I was peri-menopausal, but she kept veering away from my suggestion. Upon a physical examination she decided I needed to have a Head and Neck ultrasound. I was not the least bit alarmed or concerned. After countless tests over the past year, my expectations were very low that they would provide any type of suitable answer we could work with.
I was told there was something on my thyroid that needed to be biopsied. This would require a needle to be inserted into the lump on my thyroid, and then fluid and cells would be removed for testing. Throughout the entire "scary" procedure, I kept singing Holy, Holy, Holy in my head, and with the perfect person God had put in place, and His peace that passes all understanding, it was a painless procedure.
I received a call a work a week later stating that the pathology came back suspicious, and surgery was recommended. It would be a general surgeon I would see for this procedure.
A doctor down at Mt. Sinai was recommended by Ms. P. He was a specialist in thyroid cancer and general surgery and agreed to see me. A total of 5 biopsies later, countless chest xrays and some nuclear tests that required me to lay on a table for over 2 hours straight while a machine hovered over me and moved ever so slightly, I received the elusive call at work, again. They finally had a definitive test result and it was cancer on both sides of my thyroid, and the recommendation was to have my entire thyroid removed.
I was numb! This process had gone on so long, that I hadn't prepared myself for this outcome.
The doctor explained the procedure, possible side effects, further additional treatment after surgery, and follow-up for the next several years, at least.
This was during the spring of 2003. Most of you may not recall what was happening in our city at that time unless you had been personally affected by SARS. Mt. Sinai was at the hub of outbreak and testing going on for SARS cases. I had to enter the hospital on my own for surgery. My mother said this was one of the most difficult times for her. Letting me off at the front door and watching me go in alone for my surgery.
I donned a mask, and cleaned my hands at every station I passed. My mother had given me a piece of paper with a piece of scripture written on it.
Deuteronomy 31:8
The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”
I thought through the scripture, carefully. Not only is He going before me, but He has walked a path of suffering that is unequalled in anything I have ever encountered. He was not going to leave me. At the hospital front doors, in the operating room, anywhere. He would be with me through it all. I had nothing to fear. The Lord was telling me not to be discouraged.....without hope!
I was laying on a gurney outside the operating room for over 30 minutes. There was no one there to talk to, or take my mind off of things, or to help pass the time. Left up to my own imagination, I knew things could spiral out of control quickly, so I repeated the scripture given to me, again and again. It has become the scripture for all things I encounter in life. It covers a multitude of experiences and challenges, and never fails to bring me peace.
The surgeon I had prayed for that morning performed a flawless surgery. I did not lose my voice, and my pain was minimal. I knew the road to recovery would be a long one, but at least I was on it!
Often, when I go through these situations, I ask God "who would you like me to witness to", always convinced that this is His purpose for me in these moments. His wisdom always points back to me. He is showing me how all He has promised me is real. Sitting outside of that operating room, I had only Him. But He was sufficient!
God does not ever own me an explanation, or to justify what He does or what He allows in my life, or the lives of those I love. My Creator doesn't need me to take care of this little corner of the world. He can call upon anyone or anything at any moment to accomplish His purpose. Or He can choose the elements of this earth to move mountains.
I never fail to become emotional whenever I realize how much God loves me. Enough to go before me. Enough to be with me. Enough to never leave me. Enough to never negate me. I have done nothing in my lifetime to warrant this type of all encompassing love. It is in those moments I am reminded about His grace.
His grace cannot be bought, earned, borrowed, or stolen. His grace is free, given to me in spite of who I am and all that I have done. It is available for all those that ask. The enemy cannot intercept it or destroy it. His mercy and grace was witnessed in the plan to save all mankind from an eternal life of anguish and separation from God. His mercy and grace were nailed on a cross for all to see. The last sacrifice ever needed as an atonement for our sins.
John 3:16
For God so loved the world, that He gave his only begotten son, so that whosoever believes in Him will not perish, but have everlasting life.
I had been given another chance to carrying on further in life, knowing where my eternity lies. Someday seeing Jesus face-to-face as my father and sister are now.
I know it may seem as though my life is riddled with health issues, and that may be true, but with God's grace I have adjusted to each situation as I encounter it.
At the age of 43, I had been suffering with deep depression for over one year, and it was continuing to get worse. I felt unwell at most times, and was convinced there was more to this than a "psychological problem". Medications were not resolving this issue, and I had many additional symptoms as well. Unfortunately, most of them can be associated with depression, so each doctor felt they had properly diagnosed my illness.
Prayer at this point in my life, was sporadically coming from me, but more from my husband, children, mom and Ms. P. I would not describe depression as a sadness. It goes much deeper than that. It is the loss of all hope. When you have lost hope, it is devastating and very difficult to rise above. But I had intercessory prayer and the love of a great and mighty God.
At this point in my life, my father had passed away, so I no longer had the "voice of reason" to spur me on. Mom, being the matriarch became determined to find answers to this debilitating problem.
We had bought books, tried herbal medications, exercising, anything we could to reduce stress, and all to no avail.
At 43, I thought my body was beginning to get older and started to go through the "change of life". In order to confirm that this was the main problem, I would require the expertise of an Endocrinologist. My problem was that the family doctor was hesitant about moving in this direction.
I felt helpless and defeated and once again, ready to give up.
My mother attended the next visit with my doctor, and asked about being referred to a specialist. The doctor said it wasn't necessary. Like a protective mama bear, she mustered up as much anger as she possibly could and demanded that we be referred to an Endo specialist. Now most people who know my mother realize that they may never have seen this side of her (including my doctor). In all the years I have known her, I had rarely seen this type of determination and insistence from her. I think the doctor was aware he was witnessing a rare act, and wasn't prepared to say "no" and find out what the consequences of that would be. Please understand that my mother's idea of anger is to slightly raise your voice and become persistent in your demand. That's it! But coming from someone who is normally very meek and pleasant, you realize you're in the presence of an immovable force.
My advocate had won her demand, and I was referred to an Endo specialist, Dr. M.
I spent a great deal of time trying to persuade her that I was peri-menopausal, but she kept veering away from my suggestion. Upon a physical examination she decided I needed to have a Head and Neck ultrasound. I was not the least bit alarmed or concerned. After countless tests over the past year, my expectations were very low that they would provide any type of suitable answer we could work with.
I was told there was something on my thyroid that needed to be biopsied. This would require a needle to be inserted into the lump on my thyroid, and then fluid and cells would be removed for testing. Throughout the entire "scary" procedure, I kept singing Holy, Holy, Holy in my head, and with the perfect person God had put in place, and His peace that passes all understanding, it was a painless procedure.
I received a call a work a week later stating that the pathology came back suspicious, and surgery was recommended. It would be a general surgeon I would see for this procedure.
A doctor down at Mt. Sinai was recommended by Ms. P. He was a specialist in thyroid cancer and general surgery and agreed to see me. A total of 5 biopsies later, countless chest xrays and some nuclear tests that required me to lay on a table for over 2 hours straight while a machine hovered over me and moved ever so slightly, I received the elusive call at work, again. They finally had a definitive test result and it was cancer on both sides of my thyroid, and the recommendation was to have my entire thyroid removed.
I was numb! This process had gone on so long, that I hadn't prepared myself for this outcome.
The doctor explained the procedure, possible side effects, further additional treatment after surgery, and follow-up for the next several years, at least.
This was during the spring of 2003. Most of you may not recall what was happening in our city at that time unless you had been personally affected by SARS. Mt. Sinai was at the hub of outbreak and testing going on for SARS cases. I had to enter the hospital on my own for surgery. My mother said this was one of the most difficult times for her. Letting me off at the front door and watching me go in alone for my surgery.
I donned a mask, and cleaned my hands at every station I passed. My mother had given me a piece of paper with a piece of scripture written on it.
Deuteronomy 31:8
The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”
I thought through the scripture, carefully. Not only is He going before me, but He has walked a path of suffering that is unequalled in anything I have ever encountered. He was not going to leave me. At the hospital front doors, in the operating room, anywhere. He would be with me through it all. I had nothing to fear. The Lord was telling me not to be discouraged.....without hope!
I was laying on a gurney outside the operating room for over 30 minutes. There was no one there to talk to, or take my mind off of things, or to help pass the time. Left up to my own imagination, I knew things could spiral out of control quickly, so I repeated the scripture given to me, again and again. It has become the scripture for all things I encounter in life. It covers a multitude of experiences and challenges, and never fails to bring me peace.
The surgeon I had prayed for that morning performed a flawless surgery. I did not lose my voice, and my pain was minimal. I knew the road to recovery would be a long one, but at least I was on it!
Often, when I go through these situations, I ask God "who would you like me to witness to", always convinced that this is His purpose for me in these moments. His wisdom always points back to me. He is showing me how all He has promised me is real. Sitting outside of that operating room, I had only Him. But He was sufficient!
God does not ever own me an explanation, or to justify what He does or what He allows in my life, or the lives of those I love. My Creator doesn't need me to take care of this little corner of the world. He can call upon anyone or anything at any moment to accomplish His purpose. Or He can choose the elements of this earth to move mountains.
I never fail to become emotional whenever I realize how much God loves me. Enough to go before me. Enough to be with me. Enough to never leave me. Enough to never negate me. I have done nothing in my lifetime to warrant this type of all encompassing love. It is in those moments I am reminded about His grace.
His grace cannot be bought, earned, borrowed, or stolen. His grace is free, given to me in spite of who I am and all that I have done. It is available for all those that ask. The enemy cannot intercept it or destroy it. His mercy and grace was witnessed in the plan to save all mankind from an eternal life of anguish and separation from God. His mercy and grace were nailed on a cross for all to see. The last sacrifice ever needed as an atonement for our sins.
John 3:16
For God so loved the world, that He gave his only begotten son, so that whosoever believes in Him will not perish, but have everlasting life.
I had been given another chance to carrying on further in life, knowing where my eternity lies. Someday seeing Jesus face-to-face as my father and sister are now.
Communication
While there are trials and tribulations in everyone's life, it is often a ride we do not take alone. Others that love us are also affected by all that we experience.
My walk has not always been a steady one, but I have been so blessed to have a loving family and friends that have interceded on my behalf when I did not, or could not.
I know that God's power is often shown through those that bring others to Him in intercessory prayer. Whether it has been prayer for healing of my mind, body, or soul, or for others that I dearly love.
In a world that seems to become harder to see love in, I am so blessed to have a body of believers that pray for me. Two of the staunchest supporters of mine have been my mother and my/her dear friend Ms. P.
At times when my faith waxed and waned, they have brought me before a Holy God and asked for Him to restore my faith. They have taught me about love and faith for a righteous God.
I have had the benefit of wonderful mentors who have shown me the power of prayer and of God's love. Loving the Lord is not a "solo" sport. We benefit the most when He is able to surround us with a beautiful body of believers that can lift us up before Him, even when we can't.
Over the years I have realized that through church, small groups, family, co-workers and friends, my plight has been brought before God, and He has been faithful.
Faith in God is not about attending an institution regularly every week. That should never be how we define if we are where He needs us to be in His relationship with us. Having said that, it is a very important gift that He gives us to encourage, teach and support us during many stages of our lives. We are told by the Lord "Not to forsake the assembling of ourselves"(Hebrews 10:25). There are times when He will often speak to me through others. I can be "too close to the problem" to gain a proper perspective on the issue.
One thing I have learned during my walk with the Lord is that He doesn't put a truth in the Bible that is not important for us. If He says we need to be with other believers, it is because He knows the value of these relationshipos for our own lives and our own walk with Him.
In my own life I have often been shown His wisdom and strength through His word and the truth it contains. The Bible is a universal book that has a different impact on each person, at different times. I have read the same passage at different moments in my life and derived completely different meanings from it each time. It often depends on what is happening in my life, and where I am in my reliance upon God. I know of no other book that has this ability. But this is because this is the inspired Word of God. With the guidance of the Holy Spirit, I am able to hear His voice through His Word.
I recall a moment when I read John 1:1-3 and started to understand the depth of Jesus' relationship with us and with the Father. He was there from the beginning, with God, and He was God. All things were made through Him. He is part of the Holy Trinity. I replaced the word "Word" with Jesus. Jesus is the Word.
John 1:1-3
1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was with God in the beginning. 3 Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made.
The vastness and complexity of His Word are only decipherable with the aid of the Holy Spirit. This is why His truths can become new to us each time we read them.
Even if we bring the Bible down to a level where we say "man has written it", it doesn't matter. God can use any vehicle He chooses to love us, lead us, and guide us. He can take Words and inspire us to move forward with them. We do not serve a silent God. He engages us and communicates with us through many vehicles. Through people, His Word, in the still moments of prayer, in songs.
So, I am well-equipped to make my way through this journey. I do not do it alone. I have the love and promise of an awesome God, and the prayers of His faithful servants.
My walk has not always been a steady one, but I have been so blessed to have a loving family and friends that have interceded on my behalf when I did not, or could not.
I know that God's power is often shown through those that bring others to Him in intercessory prayer. Whether it has been prayer for healing of my mind, body, or soul, or for others that I dearly love.
In a world that seems to become harder to see love in, I am so blessed to have a body of believers that pray for me. Two of the staunchest supporters of mine have been my mother and my/her dear friend Ms. P.
At times when my faith waxed and waned, they have brought me before a Holy God and asked for Him to restore my faith. They have taught me about love and faith for a righteous God.
I have had the benefit of wonderful mentors who have shown me the power of prayer and of God's love. Loving the Lord is not a "solo" sport. We benefit the most when He is able to surround us with a beautiful body of believers that can lift us up before Him, even when we can't.
Over the years I have realized that through church, small groups, family, co-workers and friends, my plight has been brought before God, and He has been faithful.
Faith in God is not about attending an institution regularly every week. That should never be how we define if we are where He needs us to be in His relationship with us. Having said that, it is a very important gift that He gives us to encourage, teach and support us during many stages of our lives. We are told by the Lord "Not to forsake the assembling of ourselves"(Hebrews 10:25). There are times when He will often speak to me through others. I can be "too close to the problem" to gain a proper perspective on the issue.
One thing I have learned during my walk with the Lord is that He doesn't put a truth in the Bible that is not important for us. If He says we need to be with other believers, it is because He knows the value of these relationshipos for our own lives and our own walk with Him.
In my own life I have often been shown His wisdom and strength through His word and the truth it contains. The Bible is a universal book that has a different impact on each person, at different times. I have read the same passage at different moments in my life and derived completely different meanings from it each time. It often depends on what is happening in my life, and where I am in my reliance upon God. I know of no other book that has this ability. But this is because this is the inspired Word of God. With the guidance of the Holy Spirit, I am able to hear His voice through His Word.
I recall a moment when I read John 1:1-3 and started to understand the depth of Jesus' relationship with us and with the Father. He was there from the beginning, with God, and He was God. All things were made through Him. He is part of the Holy Trinity. I replaced the word "Word" with Jesus. Jesus is the Word.
John 1:1-3
1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was with God in the beginning. 3 Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made.
The vastness and complexity of His Word are only decipherable with the aid of the Holy Spirit. This is why His truths can become new to us each time we read them.
Even if we bring the Bible down to a level where we say "man has written it", it doesn't matter. God can use any vehicle He chooses to love us, lead us, and guide us. He can take Words and inspire us to move forward with them. We do not serve a silent God. He engages us and communicates with us through many vehicles. Through people, His Word, in the still moments of prayer, in songs.
So, I am well-equipped to make my way through this journey. I do not do it alone. I have the love and promise of an awesome God, and the prayers of His faithful servants.
Friday, 11 May 2012
Praise
May 11th, 2012
When I was 18 years old, I applied for a job at the Jackson's Point Salvation Army Summer Camp. It was an hour from Toronto, and I would be sleeping in cabins with 8 young girls and a co-counsellor. The decision to take this job flowed from the time I had spent at St. A. center. I would once again be working with children and knew this would be a summer of blessing.
The first few groups went in and out without any remarkable events. The children coming to this camp were from low income areas and most were sponsored by the Salvation Army.
Generally, they were quite happy to be there. Most were co-operative and friendly. Some missed home, others enjoyed the new environment and all the outdoor activities. For me, being there pushed me once again outside of my comfort zone. I was working with people I didn't know. There was one occasion that my cabin had to put on a skit, and I had to stand in front of the entire camp and "act" out my part. All of this was quite difficult for me because growing up I was incredibly shy. I never wanted to draw anyone's attention, and often tried to be as inconspicuous as possible.
But I prayed that God would use me that summer to reach the children and teach them about our Lord.
So, things went along "swimmingly" and then group 3 came in. All appeared to be the same on the outside, but after a few hours of spending time with the girls, I realized that I had one young lady who was going to be a challenge. She would do the opposite of all I asked. She would mock me and make fun of me and refuse to participate in anything. She would encourage others to do the same. I prayed that God would guide me in reaching her.
One afternoon, while we spent time in art class, she sat down for a few minutes and drew a landscape picture. It was remarkable. She had such talent, and I was amazed at the beauty and detail in her drawing. I shared with her and others how talented she was and how much I loved her work. She asked me if I would like to keep the picture. I jumped at the chance and pinned it up in my room in the cabin.
Later, I brought her into my room to show her how important her gift was to me, and that for the rest of the summer I would be able to look at her masterpiece and be reminded of her.
We were strong and fast buddies after that. She never left my side. She blessed me with many more pictures that I cherished equally. She made my time at camp so rewarding and memorable. She left an indelible impression on me and changed my summer.
The last day of camp arrived, and her mother came to pick her up. She was dragged by her daughter to come and meet me. She seemed hesitant to stop and say hello, not knowing what to expect from me. I told her what a beautiful and talented young lady her daughter was and how grateful I was to have her in my group. Her mother looked very surprised. I showed her the beautiful artwork she had created and left with me. I think her mother was relieved she was not getting a "bad" report.
I realized with my special camper (and they all were truly special to me) that she longed for love. She normally got attention by behaving badly. But once I found the talent that she possessed, we had a common ground. Praising her brought out the beauty inside her. She became confident, warm and loving. She touched my life in such a special way and made that entire summer so worthwhile.
I have often found throughout the years when I am dealing with a difficult moment, that keeping my mind
"stayed upon the Lord" and praising Him, shifts my focus from inner turmoil, to the beauty of the King. Praise is such a powerful expression of love. It softens hearts, drops confrontation, and brings peace to those that share it.
In Luke 19: 37 - 40 It says :
When he came near the place where the road goes down the Mount of Olives, the whole crowd of disciples began joyfully to praise God in loud voices for all the miracles they had seen
:38 “Blessed is the king who comes in the name of the Lord!” “Peace in heaven and glory in the highest!”
39 Some of the Pharisees in the crowd said to Jesus, “Teacher, rebuke your disciples!”
40 “I tell you,” he replied, “if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out.”
Praise is important to us because it helps us and others feel valued and loved.
It is important to God because we are able to express our love for him and in doing so we put all things in proper perspective. The worries of this world fade and we gain this sense that we are loved by the Creator of all things, and He is mighty, awesome, powerful, loving, Holy and righteous. Fear disipates, and peace abounds.
It starts out being about us, and ends up being about our Lord. Bringing peace to our soul so that we can do all things, through Christ that strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13)
Even in the midst of great strife and turmoil!
When I was 18 years old, I applied for a job at the Jackson's Point Salvation Army Summer Camp. It was an hour from Toronto, and I would be sleeping in cabins with 8 young girls and a co-counsellor. The decision to take this job flowed from the time I had spent at St. A. center. I would once again be working with children and knew this would be a summer of blessing.
The first few groups went in and out without any remarkable events. The children coming to this camp were from low income areas and most were sponsored by the Salvation Army.
Generally, they were quite happy to be there. Most were co-operative and friendly. Some missed home, others enjoyed the new environment and all the outdoor activities. For me, being there pushed me once again outside of my comfort zone. I was working with people I didn't know. There was one occasion that my cabin had to put on a skit, and I had to stand in front of the entire camp and "act" out my part. All of this was quite difficult for me because growing up I was incredibly shy. I never wanted to draw anyone's attention, and often tried to be as inconspicuous as possible.
But I prayed that God would use me that summer to reach the children and teach them about our Lord.
So, things went along "swimmingly" and then group 3 came in. All appeared to be the same on the outside, but after a few hours of spending time with the girls, I realized that I had one young lady who was going to be a challenge. She would do the opposite of all I asked. She would mock me and make fun of me and refuse to participate in anything. She would encourage others to do the same. I prayed that God would guide me in reaching her.
One afternoon, while we spent time in art class, she sat down for a few minutes and drew a landscape picture. It was remarkable. She had such talent, and I was amazed at the beauty and detail in her drawing. I shared with her and others how talented she was and how much I loved her work. She asked me if I would like to keep the picture. I jumped at the chance and pinned it up in my room in the cabin.
Later, I brought her into my room to show her how important her gift was to me, and that for the rest of the summer I would be able to look at her masterpiece and be reminded of her.
We were strong and fast buddies after that. She never left my side. She blessed me with many more pictures that I cherished equally. She made my time at camp so rewarding and memorable. She left an indelible impression on me and changed my summer.
The last day of camp arrived, and her mother came to pick her up. She was dragged by her daughter to come and meet me. She seemed hesitant to stop and say hello, not knowing what to expect from me. I told her what a beautiful and talented young lady her daughter was and how grateful I was to have her in my group. Her mother looked very surprised. I showed her the beautiful artwork she had created and left with me. I think her mother was relieved she was not getting a "bad" report.
I realized with my special camper (and they all were truly special to me) that she longed for love. She normally got attention by behaving badly. But once I found the talent that she possessed, we had a common ground. Praising her brought out the beauty inside her. She became confident, warm and loving. She touched my life in such a special way and made that entire summer so worthwhile.
I have often found throughout the years when I am dealing with a difficult moment, that keeping my mind
"stayed upon the Lord" and praising Him, shifts my focus from inner turmoil, to the beauty of the King. Praise is such a powerful expression of love. It softens hearts, drops confrontation, and brings peace to those that share it.
In Luke 19: 37 - 40 It says :
When he came near the place where the road goes down the Mount of Olives, the whole crowd of disciples began joyfully to praise God in loud voices for all the miracles they had seen
:38 “Blessed is the king who comes in the name of the Lord!” “Peace in heaven and glory in the highest!”
39 Some of the Pharisees in the crowd said to Jesus, “Teacher, rebuke your disciples!”
40 “I tell you,” he replied, “if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out.”
Praise is important to us because it helps us and others feel valued and loved.
It is important to God because we are able to express our love for him and in doing so we put all things in proper perspective. The worries of this world fade and we gain this sense that we are loved by the Creator of all things, and He is mighty, awesome, powerful, loving, Holy and righteous. Fear disipates, and peace abounds.
It starts out being about us, and ends up being about our Lord. Bringing peace to our soul so that we can do all things, through Christ that strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13)
Even in the midst of great strife and turmoil!
Thursday, 10 May 2012
Wonderfully Made
May 10th, 2012
Writing this blog has been an endeavour that is not my own. While the idea was my son's, and the hands that type the words may be mine, I have no doubt at all that these words are inspired by God.
I would not change one situation in my life. Not one moment, not one tear, not one moment of pain. God is so good to me that He has always given me the grace to come through these moments, and with the tender leading of the Holy Spirit on my soul, has shown me and taught me so much about Himself. He has used these moments to show me His power and strength. He has molded my heart with compassion, He has formed the words on my tongue and in my heart to love and encourage others (just as they have done for me).
I am not deceived. I know who I would be without God's leading and teaching. I am controlling and selfish, and at times, very unlovable. But God still feels I am worth the effort. He loves me in spite of who I am. He stays with me, even when I have my unlovable moments.
I have questioned. I have asked why? I have railed against my situation. I have wondered away, silent for a season. I have felt alone and unworthy. And yet He still stays with me. This is the love of a Holy God. One that is unequalled in all the world.
What I have gone through in my 52 years have been moments of God molding me, giving me experiences so that I would show compassion to others that suffer the same or similar circumstances. Through these moments, God has put compassion and love into my heart. Not my love for my fellow man, but His love for them. I pray to see each individual with the eyes that God has, so I can see their value and their worth to Him. God has made us all in His image, so there are no mistakes or levels of perfection in God's creation.
Whenever I think my situation may be a bit overwhelming, I can always hear another person's trials and thank God for my blessings. Nothing we endure can compare to the struggle of Christ on the cross, separated from God, and taking on the sins of those that gossip, cheat, lie, rape, murder, molest, slander. I am so very grateful to God that He pursued me many years ago. My life has had its high points and its low points, but one thing I can truly say about God is that He is faithful and true. His word is true and His love is higher than any other.
My only prayer for the blog and my life at this time are that God will be glorified through all of this. If you gain strength from the writings, please thank God. He truly put the words there for you. I am only putting down what He inspires me to write. If you gain faith from the writings, thank God. For He knows you so intimately that He knows exactly which words will touch you.
I did not make my body nor the mind and the brain that He gave me. Any good you see in me was put there as a gift from God. He has blessed you too with gifts. You may already know what they are, or you may spend years discovering them. They are always things that come easily to you. You always wonder why other people think this is so hard because it requires very little effort on your part. That is a gift He has given you. A strength, a talent, an ability so that you can use this for His purpose. I pray that God will continue to show you how loving and merciful He is, and during moments where He seems to be gone, you will look back on His answers to prayer, and times when He felt so close you could almost feel His breath on your cheek, and know that He has never left you nor forsaken you. (Hebrews 13:5) We can do all things through God who strengthens us. (Phil 4:13)
Writing this blog has been an endeavour that is not my own. While the idea was my son's, and the hands that type the words may be mine, I have no doubt at all that these words are inspired by God.
I would not change one situation in my life. Not one moment, not one tear, not one moment of pain. God is so good to me that He has always given me the grace to come through these moments, and with the tender leading of the Holy Spirit on my soul, has shown me and taught me so much about Himself. He has used these moments to show me His power and strength. He has molded my heart with compassion, He has formed the words on my tongue and in my heart to love and encourage others (just as they have done for me).
I am not deceived. I know who I would be without God's leading and teaching. I am controlling and selfish, and at times, very unlovable. But God still feels I am worth the effort. He loves me in spite of who I am. He stays with me, even when I have my unlovable moments.
I have questioned. I have asked why? I have railed against my situation. I have wondered away, silent for a season. I have felt alone and unworthy. And yet He still stays with me. This is the love of a Holy God. One that is unequalled in all the world.
What I have gone through in my 52 years have been moments of God molding me, giving me experiences so that I would show compassion to others that suffer the same or similar circumstances. Through these moments, God has put compassion and love into my heart. Not my love for my fellow man, but His love for them. I pray to see each individual with the eyes that God has, so I can see their value and their worth to Him. God has made us all in His image, so there are no mistakes or levels of perfection in God's creation.
Whenever I think my situation may be a bit overwhelming, I can always hear another person's trials and thank God for my blessings. Nothing we endure can compare to the struggle of Christ on the cross, separated from God, and taking on the sins of those that gossip, cheat, lie, rape, murder, molest, slander. I am so very grateful to God that He pursued me many years ago. My life has had its high points and its low points, but one thing I can truly say about God is that He is faithful and true. His word is true and His love is higher than any other.
My only prayer for the blog and my life at this time are that God will be glorified through all of this. If you gain strength from the writings, please thank God. He truly put the words there for you. I am only putting down what He inspires me to write. If you gain faith from the writings, thank God. For He knows you so intimately that He knows exactly which words will touch you.
I did not make my body nor the mind and the brain that He gave me. Any good you see in me was put there as a gift from God. He has blessed you too with gifts. You may already know what they are, or you may spend years discovering them. They are always things that come easily to you. You always wonder why other people think this is so hard because it requires very little effort on your part. That is a gift He has given you. A strength, a talent, an ability so that you can use this for His purpose. I pray that God will continue to show you how loving and merciful He is, and during moments where He seems to be gone, you will look back on His answers to prayer, and times when He felt so close you could almost feel His breath on your cheek, and know that He has never left you nor forsaken you. (Hebrews 13:5) We can do all things through God who strengthens us. (Phil 4:13)
Wednesday, 9 May 2012
Learning
I was once doing an exercise where I had to plot the major life milestones on a line with dates. When you condense 52 years of living into a single line, it can sometimes be difficult to fit it all in. The moments I've encountered are not only about hardships, but about the victory in these trials. My strength comes from the Lord.
Whenever I now go through a period of frustration, or difficulty, I stop and ask God "what do you want me to learn from this event"? I pray that He will give me perspective about this trial, and show me what I need to learn, or change! This is how I know that He is real and that He is still with me. He has never given up on me, and continues to teach me more and more about maturing and walking with Him.
My father grew up with a life of great sorrow and pain at a very young age. He was an only child and his mother passed away when he still young. His father left when his mother died and he was graciously taken in by family members. He was on my uncle R's farm for a while, and my grandma and grandpa L. took him in. Most of what my father learned about being a man came from grandpa L. They became his new parents.
My father was one of the most intelligent people I have known. He was the type of person you ran to when you had a question you needed an answer to. If he didn't know the answer, he would research it until he could truthfully tell you the facts. I trusted his word and his knowledge.
When mom and I became Christians, we prayed fervently for members of our family. Dad was on the list of those that we prayed would come to know the Lord. I told the Lord that this might be a very tall order since dad kept his emotions close to his chest, and was one of the most logical people I knew. My experience when I was saved was a tearful, joyful, emotional event. I couldn't picture my dad having this type of experience, so I knew this was not going to be easy.
Mom and I were baby Christians, so our love and enthusiasm for our Lord was in front of us 24/7. ( I often pray to have that type of faith again. That fearless, "have to tell everyone I meet", "can't read enough, pray enough, sing enough, or praise Him enough" type of walk.) Dad was surrounded by this frenetic environment, but I personally never heard him complain, or ask us to stop with the "Jesus talk". I believe he was just sitting back and observing. Curious about the change he saw in mom and the peace she had during a most difficult time with the loss of my sister.
The Billy Graham crusade was coming to town, and mom and I had volunteered to help with the preparation for this event. We had never been to a crusade before, but we knew it would be special.
I was working at St. A. center at the time. This was an after school center for young children. It was situated in a low income housing project. The children would stop in to buy a slushie, or play pool, or just hang around and talk. The fondest memories I have are of the young girls who would sit with me and brush my long blonde hair. The love they gave me was so wonderful. They blessed me in such beautiful ways.
I would be going to the crusade with a group of children from St. A's. My mother would be going with my dad. The crusade was inspiring and uplifting. There is nothing like listening to a stadium full of people singing "Just as I am" as hundreds of people move from the stands to the field to dedicate their life.
I returned to the center and called home for my mom or dad to come pick me up. Mom answered the phone and said "your dad wants to talk to you". This was quite unusual! He got on the phone and told me about his moment at the crusade when he went forward and gave his life to the Lord. I cried. God had answered my prayer. He was able to get through that wounded, tough exterior of my father and reach inside. In the years after, I have learned that my walk with the Lord is not to be gauged by emotion. My father's conversion was real, yet very different from my experience.
God can reach us right where we are. He knows us so well, that He knows how to break down the barriers we put up and to reach inside. He heals, forgives, and loves.
When I look back on my life before I knew Christ, I saw the way He was making himself known to me. Through moments at school when we would pray and read scripture before class began. In the giving of a Gideon New Testament bible when I graduated from Grade 5, to the songs I sang at Christmas that now have a magnified meaning to them, to the neighbours he planted next door to us. The house on the west side was owned by the Salvation Army, and approximately every 3 years we would meet a new family. I know that with each new family, came a new set of prayers for us. Major R. was one of the first people to come to our house when my sister was first injured. His prayer brought me so much peace. God kept knocking at my door, saying "I'm here"!
It was similar with my husband's mother. She was in her 60's and had allowed her children to attend DP Baptist church. The people at the church took all 5 children under their wings and invested time in each and every one of them. When their oldest son died tragically in a car accident just days before Christmas, the church rallied around the entire family to help. Wonderful friends stepped up to help with trying to keep things as normal as possible for the family at Christmas.
When I met my husband, my mother-in-law was not a Christian. God wooed her continually, but she had not yet accepted his invitation. Her brother-in-law passed away, and the service was held at an Alternative Funeral Home. The minister asked each person in the pews, "If you were to die today, do you know where you would go"? Years of prompting and prodding came to fruition with that statement.
She called our home, and I answered. She told me that she wanted to accept Christ as her Saviour. I contacted my husband at church, and I he gathered a group of friends that had known the family for years. They all prayed for this moment. He went over and prayed with His mom for her salvation.
She was never the same after that. She was always a gentle and kind woman, but the love she had for the Lord was infectious. She told everyone she could about her Saviour. She wrote to family down south, and shared her faith with her brothers and sisters. She stepped outside her comfort zone by giving her testimony at a Seniors group. She loved everyone she met with His love.
God reaches us right where we are. Sometimes people pass through our lives and leave a little piece of His love with us. Sometimes he knocks at the door, and we are too busy to answer. Other times we think "we've got it" and don't need God in the picture. And tragically, sometimes our hearts grow cold and we can't hear him knock anymore.
My father and mother-in-law were always willing to learn. God doesn't want us to stagnate. Any time I have failed to grow in my faith, it has been because of my choices, not God's.
Today, my father and mother-in-law are both seeing Jesus "Face to Face". Their names are written in the book of Life, and they have both left a wonderful legacy.
I praise God that He never gave up on me. That he does not leave me or turn his back on me. That He loves me enough to continue to show me all that He has to offer, if I'll only believe and follow.
So when He says "today I will allow a difficulty in your life", I ask "What do you want me to learn Lord?" How shall I serve you today!
Romans 8:28:
"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose."
Whenever I now go through a period of frustration, or difficulty, I stop and ask God "what do you want me to learn from this event"? I pray that He will give me perspective about this trial, and show me what I need to learn, or change! This is how I know that He is real and that He is still with me. He has never given up on me, and continues to teach me more and more about maturing and walking with Him.
My father grew up with a life of great sorrow and pain at a very young age. He was an only child and his mother passed away when he still young. His father left when his mother died and he was graciously taken in by family members. He was on my uncle R's farm for a while, and my grandma and grandpa L. took him in. Most of what my father learned about being a man came from grandpa L. They became his new parents.
My father was one of the most intelligent people I have known. He was the type of person you ran to when you had a question you needed an answer to. If he didn't know the answer, he would research it until he could truthfully tell you the facts. I trusted his word and his knowledge.
When mom and I became Christians, we prayed fervently for members of our family. Dad was on the list of those that we prayed would come to know the Lord. I told the Lord that this might be a very tall order since dad kept his emotions close to his chest, and was one of the most logical people I knew. My experience when I was saved was a tearful, joyful, emotional event. I couldn't picture my dad having this type of experience, so I knew this was not going to be easy.
Mom and I were baby Christians, so our love and enthusiasm for our Lord was in front of us 24/7. ( I often pray to have that type of faith again. That fearless, "have to tell everyone I meet", "can't read enough, pray enough, sing enough, or praise Him enough" type of walk.) Dad was surrounded by this frenetic environment, but I personally never heard him complain, or ask us to stop with the "Jesus talk". I believe he was just sitting back and observing. Curious about the change he saw in mom and the peace she had during a most difficult time with the loss of my sister.
The Billy Graham crusade was coming to town, and mom and I had volunteered to help with the preparation for this event. We had never been to a crusade before, but we knew it would be special.
I was working at St. A. center at the time. This was an after school center for young children. It was situated in a low income housing project. The children would stop in to buy a slushie, or play pool, or just hang around and talk. The fondest memories I have are of the young girls who would sit with me and brush my long blonde hair. The love they gave me was so wonderful. They blessed me in such beautiful ways.
I would be going to the crusade with a group of children from St. A's. My mother would be going with my dad. The crusade was inspiring and uplifting. There is nothing like listening to a stadium full of people singing "Just as I am" as hundreds of people move from the stands to the field to dedicate their life.
I returned to the center and called home for my mom or dad to come pick me up. Mom answered the phone and said "your dad wants to talk to you". This was quite unusual! He got on the phone and told me about his moment at the crusade when he went forward and gave his life to the Lord. I cried. God had answered my prayer. He was able to get through that wounded, tough exterior of my father and reach inside. In the years after, I have learned that my walk with the Lord is not to be gauged by emotion. My father's conversion was real, yet very different from my experience.
God can reach us right where we are. He knows us so well, that He knows how to break down the barriers we put up and to reach inside. He heals, forgives, and loves.
When I look back on my life before I knew Christ, I saw the way He was making himself known to me. Through moments at school when we would pray and read scripture before class began. In the giving of a Gideon New Testament bible when I graduated from Grade 5, to the songs I sang at Christmas that now have a magnified meaning to them, to the neighbours he planted next door to us. The house on the west side was owned by the Salvation Army, and approximately every 3 years we would meet a new family. I know that with each new family, came a new set of prayers for us. Major R. was one of the first people to come to our house when my sister was first injured. His prayer brought me so much peace. God kept knocking at my door, saying "I'm here"!
It was similar with my husband's mother. She was in her 60's and had allowed her children to attend DP Baptist church. The people at the church took all 5 children under their wings and invested time in each and every one of them. When their oldest son died tragically in a car accident just days before Christmas, the church rallied around the entire family to help. Wonderful friends stepped up to help with trying to keep things as normal as possible for the family at Christmas.
When I met my husband, my mother-in-law was not a Christian. God wooed her continually, but she had not yet accepted his invitation. Her brother-in-law passed away, and the service was held at an Alternative Funeral Home. The minister asked each person in the pews, "If you were to die today, do you know where you would go"? Years of prompting and prodding came to fruition with that statement.
She called our home, and I answered. She told me that she wanted to accept Christ as her Saviour. I contacted my husband at church, and I he gathered a group of friends that had known the family for years. They all prayed for this moment. He went over and prayed with His mom for her salvation.
She was never the same after that. She was always a gentle and kind woman, but the love she had for the Lord was infectious. She told everyone she could about her Saviour. She wrote to family down south, and shared her faith with her brothers and sisters. She stepped outside her comfort zone by giving her testimony at a Seniors group. She loved everyone she met with His love.
God reaches us right where we are. Sometimes people pass through our lives and leave a little piece of His love with us. Sometimes he knocks at the door, and we are too busy to answer. Other times we think "we've got it" and don't need God in the picture. And tragically, sometimes our hearts grow cold and we can't hear him knock anymore.
My father and mother-in-law were always willing to learn. God doesn't want us to stagnate. Any time I have failed to grow in my faith, it has been because of my choices, not God's.
Today, my father and mother-in-law are both seeing Jesus "Face to Face". Their names are written in the book of Life, and they have both left a wonderful legacy.
I praise God that He never gave up on me. That he does not leave me or turn his back on me. That He loves me enough to continue to show me all that He has to offer, if I'll only believe and follow.
So when He says "today I will allow a difficulty in your life", I ask "What do you want me to learn Lord?" How shall I serve you today!
Romans 8:28:
"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose."
Tuesday, 8 May 2012
Oswald Chamber's Devotion May 8th
May 8th, 2012
This is the devotion I was reading this morning, written by Oswald Chambers. You can get his daily devotions online at utmost.org. His book of devotions is called My Utmost for His Highest. It speaks to me personally today. I thank God for His word and the faithfulness of His servants like Oswald Chambers who penned these words so many years ago, and yet they are as relevant today as the day they were written.
Perseverance means more than endurance— more than simply holding on until the end. A saint’s life is in the hands of God like a bow and arrow in the hands of an archer. God is aiming at something the saint cannot see, but our Lord continues to stretch and strain, and every once in a while the saint says, “I can’t take any more.” Yet God pays no attention; He goes on stretching until His purpose is in sight, and then He lets the arrow fly. Entrust yourself to God’s hands. Is there something in your life for which you need perseverance right now? Maintain your intimate relationship with Jesus Christ through the perseverance of faith. Proclaim as Job did, “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him” (Job 13:15).
Faith is not some weak and pitiful emotion, but is strong and vigorous confidence built on the fact that God is holy love. And even though you cannot see Him right now and cannot understand what He is doing, you know Him. Disaster occurs in your life when you lack the mental composure that comes from establishing yourself on the eternal truth that God is holy love. Faith is the supreme effort of your life— throwing yourself with abandon and total confidence upon God.
God ventured His all in Jesus Christ to save us, and now He wants us to venture our all with total abandoned confidence in Him. There are areas in our lives where that faith has not worked in us as yet— places still untouched by the life of God. There were none of those places in Jesus Christ’s life, and there are to be none in ours. Jesus prayed, “This is eternal life, that they may know You . . .” (John 17:3). The real meaning of eternal life is a life that can face anything it has to face without wavering. If we will take this view, life will become one great romance— a glorious opportunity of seeing wonderful things all the time. God is disciplining us to get us into this central place of power.
This is the devotion I was reading this morning, written by Oswald Chambers. You can get his daily devotions online at utmost.org. His book of devotions is called My Utmost for His Highest. It speaks to me personally today. I thank God for His word and the faithfulness of His servants like Oswald Chambers who penned these words so many years ago, and yet they are as relevant today as the day they were written.
Perseverance means more than endurance— more than simply holding on until the end. A saint’s life is in the hands of God like a bow and arrow in the hands of an archer. God is aiming at something the saint cannot see, but our Lord continues to stretch and strain, and every once in a while the saint says, “I can’t take any more.” Yet God pays no attention; He goes on stretching until His purpose is in sight, and then He lets the arrow fly. Entrust yourself to God’s hands. Is there something in your life for which you need perseverance right now? Maintain your intimate relationship with Jesus Christ through the perseverance of faith. Proclaim as Job did, “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him” (Job 13:15).
Faith is not some weak and pitiful emotion, but is strong and vigorous confidence built on the fact that God is holy love. And even though you cannot see Him right now and cannot understand what He is doing, you know Him. Disaster occurs in your life when you lack the mental composure that comes from establishing yourself on the eternal truth that God is holy love. Faith is the supreme effort of your life— throwing yourself with abandon and total confidence upon God.
God ventured His all in Jesus Christ to save us, and now He wants us to venture our all with total abandoned confidence in Him. There are areas in our lives where that faith has not worked in us as yet— places still untouched by the life of God. There were none of those places in Jesus Christ’s life, and there are to be none in ours. Jesus prayed, “This is eternal life, that they may know You . . .” (John 17:3). The real meaning of eternal life is a life that can face anything it has to face without wavering. If we will take this view, life will become one great romance— a glorious opportunity of seeing wonderful things all the time. God is disciplining us to get us into this central place of power.
Monday, 7 May 2012
Purpose
May 7th, 2012
When I was 25 years old, I had just had my first child, a son, T. who was the joy of my life. He was loved by us both, and it was through Him that a generation gap was bridged. I understood my parents so much better. They became so much more intelligent, almost overnight!
But in agreeing with their wisdom came a sadness at how I had treated them. How I had been so selfish, self motivated, self consuming and at times, hurtful.
Being a new mother made me begin to understand the meaning of sacrifice. My body was not my own for 9-1/2 months. Lack of sleep became a very real part of my daily life. Lacking the freedom to come and go as I pleased. In short, not being able to put myself first.
With true sorrow in my heart, I approached both my parents to say how sorry I was for the pain I had caused them throughout my 25 years of living. I was ashamed of my behavior and deeply appreciated all that they had done for me. Both my parents were forgiving, and giving of their love. While I did not choose my parents (God did that for me) I know that I was so blessed to have both of them as guardians and mentors.
So at 25, I found myself in another health crisis. I had suffered for years with great abdominal pain. It was there for 29 days of the month. Unrelenting. Sharp, stabbing pain that made functioning in any capacity very difficult. The gynecologist’s answer was pain medication. I couldn’t help but wonder why I had such intense pain. There must be a reason for it.
I continued to go for tests. Ultrasounds, pap smears, and a lot of poking around. But I never received a definitive answer about what was causing this. In the midst of all of this, my family doctor performed a pap smear and called me into his office. There was something suspicious in the results, and he would have to send me back to the gynecologist. I took a copy of the results with me in case the specialist had not received them.
With paper in hand, I sat down with the doctor and found that not only did he have a copy of the test results in my file, but that they appeared to be buried within my file, suggesting that they had been received a while ago and filed. I was told that I need not worry because “it wouldn’t become cancer for 10 – 15 years”. On the examining table he remarked that he could see the problem and would perform another pap smear to confirm the results.
After a year and a half of suffering, and now this incident, my father sat me down and said, “I think it’s time for a second opinion.” I knew he was right so I went down to Women’s College Hospital to their clinic to get help.
A few visits, several examinations, and a biopsy later, I received the diagnosis. This was my first brush with cancer. At 25, and a new mom, I was not prepared for this result. The doctors at WCH decided that a laparoscopy was necessary to also try and determine the source of my pain. While they were there they would perform a cone biopsy and remove a part of the cervix.
They discovered that I had scar tissue on my right ovary that was causing large cysts to develop. Long story short, this was the source of my pain. The biopsy results would come in a few weeks time. I was scheduled for another surgery, 4 weeks later. They would remove my right ovary, tube, and appendix.
I had a 4th year resident that worked alongside a head Gynecologist. She sat with me and answered every question I had (and there were a lot). I asked her about the “10 – 15 year” assurance I had, and she confirmed that in some cases this can progress much more quickly. In being candid with her, I shared my experience with her about the first gynecologist I had, and what some of the findings were of all the tests that had been performed over the year and a half. I had my theories, and she was kind enough to hear me out.
After surgery, upon arriving back in my room, another resident that had assisted her told me that when surgery began, they had found the true source of my problem. It had been a large cyst, and that in this case “the patient was right”. I was so grateful for the affirmation.
I was told they had done what they could for the cervical cancer, and the rest of the treatment would have to be performed on an outpatient basis. It would require burning off the areas that were not removed with the surgery, in order to try and get the rest of the cancer.
Seven weeks after the surgery, we found out that we were expecting. I had been told by the first doctor that getting pregnant would solve my problem with the intense pain I had been suffering. Since I was never able to conceive, we were quite surprised at the news.
This would change the path they would have to take in dealing with the remaining cancer. They could not do anything other than watch and wait until I was 7 months pregnant. At that time they would prepare to try to remove the cancer, and if I went into labour, they baby should be developed enough to be able to survive.
I went in faithfully for tests that showed the cancer was progressing. It was getting larger and more invasive.
I spent my mornings reading my bible and praying to God. Sometimes, I would ask why? Other times I would try bargaining with Him (I have had an adult life, let this little one have a chance at life too, even if I lose my own). I did the only thing I could do, and that was to take it before God. The doctor’s hands were tied, and now I had to wait.
Just before my 7 month visit, I was spending time with God and all of a sudden felt a great peace, when I was praying. I felt warm from head to toe. As if someone had poured warm water on top of my head. It was at that moment, I knew everything would be okay. I didn’t know how God was going to work this out. I didn’t know the outcome for my unborn baby. I just knew that it was fine.
Before going for my 7 month visit, my mother, father and I prayed. I couldn’t tell you the exact words of the prayer, but this was a prayer of great faith. My father had worded it perfectly.
I went down to WCH and proceeded with the tests to now see the state of the cancer. Mom had even packed an overnight bag in case I needed to stay in hospital.
I lay on the table waiting for the doctor to say something. He was silent. I asked what the results were.
He said that the cancer was gone!
Not the words I had expected to hear, so I had to confirm that I understood what had just happened.
“Will I have to come back in 3 months for a check up?”
“No! With this result you can do your yearly checkups with your family doctor. “
Well, I had to ask…..how can this happen?
The doctor said he didn't know because the hormones in pregnancy usually make this type of cancer worse. The tests had proven that over the 7 months.
I started to cry and told the doctor I knew what had happened. I had prayed and God had made me well again.
With tears flowing down my face, I went out to the waiting room to see my mom and T. Mom looked at me with dread in her eyes and said “What’s wrong?” I told her I was healed! She looked at me and said …what? I repeated it, and she began to weep too.
It was at this moment I realized that in spite of my questions, wandering back and forth in faith, and unfaithfulness, God chose to heal me.
My son was born healthy at 8 lbs. 2 ounces, and is today, having a new child with his wife.
I have never known anyone that had had this type of healing. I thought this was the type of thing you only read about in the New Testament. A work that Jesus did.
The truth of God’s choices and His love for me became crystal clear to me that day. I did not “deserve” to be healed. I did not do anything to earn his favour. He chose to heal me, in spite of me!
The years of thinking I had to be perfect in order to be worthy of a relationship with God, came into perspective. I now understand that no matter what I did, how good I was, how bad I was, how close I was, how kind I was, how much I helped others, how sweet my words were, there was nothing I could do to gain the merit of a Holy God. His mercy poured down on me, even in all my weaknesses.
That is the beauty of God’s grace. We can’t earn it. That is why it is free!
Ephesians 2: 8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith —and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9 not by works, so that no one can boast. 10 For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
We are born into sin, but God had a plan for us. He sent a Saviour. A lamb that would take my place on the cross, and bear all my sins. Even though I was not perfect. Even though I was undeserving. Even though I was inconsistent in my faith.
He has never left me. He has never turned His back on me. He goes before me and touches me with His grace and mercy. I am loved by the Creator of all things.
I am reminded that He knows me better than I know myself. He sees deep into my heart and knows the choices I will make. He hears my every thought. He sees my every deed. He knows my failings and the things I keep private from others.
In spite of all of this, He chooses to love me still. Do I love like that? Not always! But as my faith in Him grows, as He teaches me, and leads me, and shows me how amazing He is, I feel His love for His creation grow in my heart. He shows me others, through His eyes. He brings a great compassion to my life for “the least of these (who will be made greatest one day)”.
So while my path may not always be straight, and I may not always be willing, the one thing I know for sure is that I have the love of the Father. Who sacrificed his most precious gift for my sake. And like a lamb being led to the slaughter, Jesus laid down His life for me. He could have called the company of legions of angels to save Him from the cross, but He knew why He had been sent and fulfilled God’s will.
This is the God I love! This is the Lord I serve!
Romans 3:23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God
Thursday, 3 May 2012
A Deep Pain
May 3rd, 2012
One thing I have learned to do over the last few years is to listen to that little voice in my heart that spurs me to move forward and challenge myself. Sometimes it pushes me beyond my comfort zone, but this is usually where I learn the most and receive the greatest blessings.
That little voice in my heart is the Comforter that Christ said He would send. The Holy Spirit that lives in us and protects and guides us so that we can fulfill God's purpose for our lives.
So as I was going through the motions of a great Christian life, God made it abundantly clear that there were areas that needed "immediate" attention. Areas I had put on the back burner for too long and these issues were squelching the potential for peace and joy in my life.
The one issue I was forced to come face to face with was Forgiveness.
I thought I had a clear path for this one. But the controlling side of me that keeps trying to jump in proved otherwise. I found I could love the children, the lonely, the sick, the elderly, family, friends, the poor, the pure in heart, but I failed to realize that I was having a hard time loving those that had hurt me. I hung on to these hurts until "I" was ready to let go of them. Some had lasted for decades, and others kept cropping up repeatedly.
"Pride" told me I had this under control. After all, I was justified! I had earned the right to be angry! It would take a bit of time, but eventually I would forgive.
Pride is an insidious "joy robber". It is a huge shortcoming of mine and one that the Lord reveals to me time and time again. The different faces of pride are infinite. I have prayed that God would make me more like Him. That He would help me to be humble. You can't begin to be humble unless you address pride. It isn't one of those sins that you figure out once and bring it before God, fix it, and move on. For me, it is a life work! Just when I think I have seen every ugly side of pride in my life and in my heart, another crucial area pops up.
So needless to say, forgiveness and pride were closely linked for me.
Whenever I want to RUN with the hurt feelings and wallow in self-pity for a while, God graciously reminds me of how blessed I am, who I am, and who He is. I am reminded of THE BIG PICTURE. What is my purpose. Of everything that exists in this world, what is the most important thing for anyone! To know Christ.
Whenever I become anxious about a situation and get drawn in to the fear of the outcome, I ask myself how The Big Picture fits in with this situation.
Does getting upset about being cut off on the highway move anyone closer to God? Does a child's disrespect move them any closer to God. Does a betrayal and my subsequent anger move anyone closer to God? Most times the answer is "no". And then I ask the Lord, how should I respond, or to give me peace about this situation. Fear and anger are not on the list of the Fruits of the Spirit.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forgiveness, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and
self-control. Against such things there is no law. Gal 5:22-23
This is my checklist of where I am at with my walk with the Lord. I cannot instill these things in my own heart. Only He can put them there. This is NOT who I am. This is who HE is!
When you see forgiveness in my heart. You see Him. The Lord put it there. I would carry that grudge until the day I die, if left to my own devices. I am not deceived about who I AM.
When you see faithfulness in my walk. You see The Lord. The Lord put it there. My idea of faith was being "perfect" and then I was worthy of a relationship with God. The sad thing was I was never "perfect" enough. I learned that He wants me just as I am. If we fix all the wrongs in our heart then why would we need God? How would we ever know what a mighty work He has done in us if we continue to think we just have to be strong willed enough to overcome. God says "the meek shall inherit the earth" (Matt 5:5) not the strong willed!. It is about surrendering.
So this weekend, I took a step in a direction that was something the Lord put on my heart for many years. The "little voice" was becoming louder and louder, but the discomfort with dealing with this became more palpable each time I drew close to doing it. This was going to put me outside of my comfort zone. I was unsure of the outcome. I wasn't sure if this person would be gentle and kind, or use the opportunity to hurt me.
And then I realized. It wasn't about my being hurt again. It wasn't about what other people thought. It was about obedience to God. I was compelled to follow all that He asks of me. In the past, when I have followed Him, irrespective of the outcome, He blesses me. There is a peace in my heart and a knowledge that God is with me. He has shown me His grace once again and proven to me that He is faithful. He has moved me forward in my walk with Him. I am no longer stagnant. I could live a million years and still never stop discovering new truths about God. He is that vast, He is that omniscient, He is that amazing.
You see, the Bible isn't a rule book. It is the inspired Word of God. Jesus came down to earth and brought the Word to us. We have been left with a play book for life. If we follow His word we have all the tools we need to fulfill His purpose in our life. Life is the stage that God uses to prove that His word is true!
Sometimes God is so good to me and gives me a glimpse of His purpose for what He asks of me. That's when I'm awestruck! His ways are never my ways! His ways are higher than mine! (Isaiah 55:9) I try to say, if you did this, then this, then this, that person would know that you are real and accept you........ He always does it differently because He knows the beginning and the end. He wrote the Forward and the Finale.....life is the stuff in between to get us there.
He doesn't owe me an explanation, but it is wonderful when I get a glimpse into a small part of His plan. When He doesn't show me, I must be content with knowing I am in the will of God and pray that He will use that situation for His glory.
So, I reached out my hand to one that has hurt me in the past to say all is forgiven and forgotten and we must move forward with our lives. It wasn't about hashing out old hurts or justifying my choices. It was about having a love for that person that God has for them. It was about seeing them through His eyes. It was not about judging or about fairness. For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Rom3:23). I have sinned, you have sinned, the prime minister has sinned, the Dali Lama, the Pope.....all of us. How can I ask Jesus to forgive MY sins if I stand in judgement of others. He is supposed to forgive me, but I can hang on to my hurt and anger.......? The Son of God, the one who has been there from the beginning and will be there in the end. The one who walks with God and sits at the right hand side of His throne is supposed to forgive me, but I can stay angry?
The play book is not for God. It is for us. So that we might have life and have it more abundantly (John 10:10).
I thank God that He has never given up on me and that through my stubbornness and selfishness He has still sought after me.
He never promised that this journey would be easy, only that He would be with me through it all!
As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
(Isaiah 55:9)
One thing I have learned to do over the last few years is to listen to that little voice in my heart that spurs me to move forward and challenge myself. Sometimes it pushes me beyond my comfort zone, but this is usually where I learn the most and receive the greatest blessings.
That little voice in my heart is the Comforter that Christ said He would send. The Holy Spirit that lives in us and protects and guides us so that we can fulfill God's purpose for our lives.
So as I was going through the motions of a great Christian life, God made it abundantly clear that there were areas that needed "immediate" attention. Areas I had put on the back burner for too long and these issues were squelching the potential for peace and joy in my life.
The one issue I was forced to come face to face with was Forgiveness.
I thought I had a clear path for this one. But the controlling side of me that keeps trying to jump in proved otherwise. I found I could love the children, the lonely, the sick, the elderly, family, friends, the poor, the pure in heart, but I failed to realize that I was having a hard time loving those that had hurt me. I hung on to these hurts until "I" was ready to let go of them. Some had lasted for decades, and others kept cropping up repeatedly.
"Pride" told me I had this under control. After all, I was justified! I had earned the right to be angry! It would take a bit of time, but eventually I would forgive.
Pride is an insidious "joy robber". It is a huge shortcoming of mine and one that the Lord reveals to me time and time again. The different faces of pride are infinite. I have prayed that God would make me more like Him. That He would help me to be humble. You can't begin to be humble unless you address pride. It isn't one of those sins that you figure out once and bring it before God, fix it, and move on. For me, it is a life work! Just when I think I have seen every ugly side of pride in my life and in my heart, another crucial area pops up.
So needless to say, forgiveness and pride were closely linked for me.
Whenever I want to RUN with the hurt feelings and wallow in self-pity for a while, God graciously reminds me of how blessed I am, who I am, and who He is. I am reminded of THE BIG PICTURE. What is my purpose. Of everything that exists in this world, what is the most important thing for anyone! To know Christ.
Whenever I become anxious about a situation and get drawn in to the fear of the outcome, I ask myself how The Big Picture fits in with this situation.
Does getting upset about being cut off on the highway move anyone closer to God? Does a child's disrespect move them any closer to God. Does a betrayal and my subsequent anger move anyone closer to God? Most times the answer is "no". And then I ask the Lord, how should I respond, or to give me peace about this situation. Fear and anger are not on the list of the Fruits of the Spirit.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forgiveness, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and
self-control. Against such things there is no law. Gal 5:22-23
This is my checklist of where I am at with my walk with the Lord. I cannot instill these things in my own heart. Only He can put them there. This is NOT who I am. This is who HE is!
When you see forgiveness in my heart. You see Him. The Lord put it there. I would carry that grudge until the day I die, if left to my own devices. I am not deceived about who I AM.
When you see faithfulness in my walk. You see The Lord. The Lord put it there. My idea of faith was being "perfect" and then I was worthy of a relationship with God. The sad thing was I was never "perfect" enough. I learned that He wants me just as I am. If we fix all the wrongs in our heart then why would we need God? How would we ever know what a mighty work He has done in us if we continue to think we just have to be strong willed enough to overcome. God says "the meek shall inherit the earth" (Matt 5:5) not the strong willed!. It is about surrendering.
So this weekend, I took a step in a direction that was something the Lord put on my heart for many years. The "little voice" was becoming louder and louder, but the discomfort with dealing with this became more palpable each time I drew close to doing it. This was going to put me outside of my comfort zone. I was unsure of the outcome. I wasn't sure if this person would be gentle and kind, or use the opportunity to hurt me.
And then I realized. It wasn't about my being hurt again. It wasn't about what other people thought. It was about obedience to God. I was compelled to follow all that He asks of me. In the past, when I have followed Him, irrespective of the outcome, He blesses me. There is a peace in my heart and a knowledge that God is with me. He has shown me His grace once again and proven to me that He is faithful. He has moved me forward in my walk with Him. I am no longer stagnant. I could live a million years and still never stop discovering new truths about God. He is that vast, He is that omniscient, He is that amazing.
You see, the Bible isn't a rule book. It is the inspired Word of God. Jesus came down to earth and brought the Word to us. We have been left with a play book for life. If we follow His word we have all the tools we need to fulfill His purpose in our life. Life is the stage that God uses to prove that His word is true!
Sometimes God is so good to me and gives me a glimpse of His purpose for what He asks of me. That's when I'm awestruck! His ways are never my ways! His ways are higher than mine! (Isaiah 55:9) I try to say, if you did this, then this, then this, that person would know that you are real and accept you........ He always does it differently because He knows the beginning and the end. He wrote the Forward and the Finale.....life is the stuff in between to get us there.
He doesn't owe me an explanation, but it is wonderful when I get a glimpse into a small part of His plan. When He doesn't show me, I must be content with knowing I am in the will of God and pray that He will use that situation for His glory.
So, I reached out my hand to one that has hurt me in the past to say all is forgiven and forgotten and we must move forward with our lives. It wasn't about hashing out old hurts or justifying my choices. It was about having a love for that person that God has for them. It was about seeing them through His eyes. It was not about judging or about fairness. For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Rom3:23). I have sinned, you have sinned, the prime minister has sinned, the Dali Lama, the Pope.....all of us. How can I ask Jesus to forgive MY sins if I stand in judgement of others. He is supposed to forgive me, but I can hang on to my hurt and anger.......? The Son of God, the one who has been there from the beginning and will be there in the end. The one who walks with God and sits at the right hand side of His throne is supposed to forgive me, but I can stay angry?
The play book is not for God. It is for us. So that we might have life and have it more abundantly (John 10:10).
I thank God that He has never given up on me and that through my stubbornness and selfishness He has still sought after me.
He never promised that this journey would be easy, only that He would be with me through it all!
As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
(Isaiah 55:9)
Wednesday, 2 May 2012
A Voice
I just wanted to share some thoughts with you.
As some of you may be aware, my days have become extremely difficult again. It is difficult each morning to get up and face each day. I have learned to adjust to the conditions I have to face. Many of these issues have taught me more about myself, and the fine-tuning that God is doing in my own life. When my struggles become great, I ask God, what are you needing me to learn through this trial. Reveal your purpose to me so that I might become a better servant for Your Kingdom.
As you also know, I am faced with a difficult road ahead. The thought that continues to go through my head is, if I lose the ability to speak and eat, what do I want to accomplish before that day. The thought is not about food, although I am more grateful for what He provides for me each day, but it is more about my spoken words. How will I use the ability to speak face to face, with everyone I encounter each day. What will I say. Will my words be harsh, or gentle and kind? Will they build them up, or tear them down. Will they be words of truth, or for personal gain. Will they be words of value? Will they be words that will glorify God.
As some of you may be aware, my days have become extremely difficult again. It is difficult each morning to get up and face each day. I have learned to adjust to the conditions I have to face. Many of these issues have taught me more about myself, and the fine-tuning that God is doing in my own life. When my struggles become great, I ask God, what are you needing me to learn through this trial. Reveal your purpose to me so that I might become a better servant for Your Kingdom.
As you also know, I am faced with a difficult road ahead. The thought that continues to go through my head is, if I lose the ability to speak and eat, what do I want to accomplish before that day. The thought is not about food, although I am more grateful for what He provides for me each day, but it is more about my spoken words. How will I use the ability to speak face to face, with everyone I encounter each day. What will I say. Will my words be harsh, or gentle and kind? Will they build them up, or tear them down. Will they be words of truth, or for personal gain. Will they be words of value? Will they be words that will glorify God.
When I sing, will it be songs that fill my heart with hope and faith?
Singing was something I am not necessarily good at, but it truly lifts my heart and adds beauty and solace to my walk with God. I mourn the thought of losing the ability to sing about our Lord. I have come to realize, that while I may be "tone deaf" that even without a tongue to form the words, they are still formed in my head. And while I may not have the ability to speak, my ability to make a noise with my voice is still there.
I know that I will walk this path without the assistance of any of you. You can't take this walk for me. But know that I am not alone. And while some days are difficult, I do know that He is there. One day, I will stand face-to-face before the maker of heaven and earth, and my voice will be clear, concise, and in pitch.
So today, I choose my words carefully, and try to make all choices, ones that glorify Him.
Matthew 22:37. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.
It is only by loving Him entirely, that we can gain "all the blessings" that walking with Him will bring. Even when you face great difficulty.
Singing was something I am not necessarily good at, but it truly lifts my heart and adds beauty and solace to my walk with God. I mourn the thought of losing the ability to sing about our Lord. I have come to realize, that while I may be "tone deaf" that even without a tongue to form the words, they are still formed in my head. And while I may not have the ability to speak, my ability to make a noise with my voice is still there.
I know that I will walk this path without the assistance of any of you. You can't take this walk for me. But know that I am not alone. And while some days are difficult, I do know that He is there. One day, I will stand face-to-face before the maker of heaven and earth, and my voice will be clear, concise, and in pitch.
So today, I choose my words carefully, and try to make all choices, ones that glorify Him.
Matthew 22:37. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.
It is only by loving Him entirely, that we can gain "all the blessings" that walking with Him will bring. Even when you face great difficulty.
An "AH HA" Moment!
I was thinking this morning that to some it might look like "here she goes again. She's in trouble and is turning to God to fix it!" Nothing could be further from the truth.
This time I am turning to him at full speed because I long for His peace, and grace. He will keep in perfect peace those whose mind is stayed on the Lord.
If my only desire is to become smaller and for Him to become larger, and to glorify Him in all that I do, then I need to fill my soul with "good food". His word, songs of praise, words and deeds of love (initiated and fulfilled by Him).
I know that He will never leave me. He is faithful and true to His word. But it is once again time to live out my faith. I have spent 35 years mouthing the words, and now I must trust that all that He tells me is true.
He has spent 52 years of my life showing me who He is. He chose me. I was created to worship Him. He chose me! I was created to follow Him. HE chose me! He knows the plans He has for me. HE CHOSE ME!
To carry His precious word to others. To share in the joy and pain of life. To show compassion and to encourage. To die to self, and let Jesus work through me.
In Linda's short time as a Christian, she understood the huge truth of God's faithfulness. She didn't have a lot of support and time to study the word and be led to deeper truths. He gave me that opportunity. Because of her faithfulness, I believed. Because of neighbours that prayed for us, I believe. Because of a great grandmother who loved the Lord and prayed for others, I believe.
Because He loved me enough to die on the cross, separated from God at the moment sin entered His body (Remember that Jesus was always there, walked with God, talked with God, and now sits at the right hand side of the throne. God is the holiest of holies. Pure in heart, mind and deed. Reverent. To be honoured and worshipped. Moses could not look at His face and live, and Jesus walked with Him. How holy do you have to be to walk with God! WOW! And that is who died for me and my sins on the cross. The fellowship of a holy God is what He laid down so that I could be reconciled to God!) We walk through life with God promising to never leave us nor forsake us. Jesus was forsaken on the cross during that moment that He became the sacrificial lamb for all my sins.
Is this difficult. Yes! Am I walking it alone. No! I do not have to be separated from God at any time to live out His will. Jesus did that for me! The Son of God, who was so holy that He could look at God and not die, became a servant to man and died on the cross so that we might have a way back to God. So that the purpose that God created man for, could still be fulfilled.
In the beginning was the Word. Jesus is the Word. He brought us the Word and the Comforter so we would have the tools we need for this journey. We are well equipped!
So, I am given today. I am grateful for today. I surrender all that I am to Him. To be used by Him to fulfill His purpose for my life. I am the only one who is accountable for my life and my choices. No one else can stand before Him and offer excuses for the choices I made.
My only desire is to one day hear....Well done my good and faithful servant!
This time I am turning to him at full speed because I long for His peace, and grace. He will keep in perfect peace those whose mind is stayed on the Lord.
If my only desire is to become smaller and for Him to become larger, and to glorify Him in all that I do, then I need to fill my soul with "good food". His word, songs of praise, words and deeds of love (initiated and fulfilled by Him).
I know that He will never leave me. He is faithful and true to His word. But it is once again time to live out my faith. I have spent 35 years mouthing the words, and now I must trust that all that He tells me is true.
He has spent 52 years of my life showing me who He is. He chose me. I was created to worship Him. He chose me! I was created to follow Him. HE chose me! He knows the plans He has for me. HE CHOSE ME!
To carry His precious word to others. To share in the joy and pain of life. To show compassion and to encourage. To die to self, and let Jesus work through me.
In Linda's short time as a Christian, she understood the huge truth of God's faithfulness. She didn't have a lot of support and time to study the word and be led to deeper truths. He gave me that opportunity. Because of her faithfulness, I believed. Because of neighbours that prayed for us, I believe. Because of a great grandmother who loved the Lord and prayed for others, I believe.
Because He loved me enough to die on the cross, separated from God at the moment sin entered His body (Remember that Jesus was always there, walked with God, talked with God, and now sits at the right hand side of the throne. God is the holiest of holies. Pure in heart, mind and deed. Reverent. To be honoured and worshipped. Moses could not look at His face and live, and Jesus walked with Him. How holy do you have to be to walk with God! WOW! And that is who died for me and my sins on the cross. The fellowship of a holy God is what He laid down so that I could be reconciled to God!) We walk through life with God promising to never leave us nor forsake us. Jesus was forsaken on the cross during that moment that He became the sacrificial lamb for all my sins.
Is this difficult. Yes! Am I walking it alone. No! I do not have to be separated from God at any time to live out His will. Jesus did that for me! The Son of God, who was so holy that He could look at God and not die, became a servant to man and died on the cross so that we might have a way back to God. So that the purpose that God created man for, could still be fulfilled.
In the beginning was the Word. Jesus is the Word. He brought us the Word and the Comforter so we would have the tools we need for this journey. We are well equipped!
So, I am given today. I am grateful for today. I surrender all that I am to Him. To be used by Him to fulfill His purpose for my life. I am the only one who is accountable for my life and my choices. No one else can stand before Him and offer excuses for the choices I made.
My only desire is to one day hear....Well done my good and faithful servant!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)